Forget Both Love and Hatred
Chapter 1
At twenty-five, I finally married my childhood sweetheart, Mark, whom I’d had a crush on for fifteen years.
After we wed, I bore him a beautiful set of twins, a boy and a girl. He then went on to become a prominent businessman in our city.
But the day before the twins’ third birthday, because they stayed up half an hour past their bedtime—due to their excitement—he punished them by making them kneel outside in the freezing yard all night.
I knelt before him, begging him to stop.
“They’re just babies, Mark. It’s twenty below zero in our town. They’ll freeze to death! It’s my fault, I didn’t discipline them properly. Punish me instead…”
He shoved me into the basement and locked the door, looking down at me with contempt.
“Ten years ago, if it weren’t for your parents, my dad wouldn’t have died so young, and my mom wouldn’t have been a widow all these years.”
“Five years ago, my company almost went bankrupt, and your parents used their money to manipulate me, forcing me to marry you, the daughter of my father’s murderer!”
“Now, it’s payback time. Sending your grandkids down there—my dad would be happy, wouldn’t he?”
The next morning, my mother-in-law released me. I found my children’s frozen, lifeless bodies. Their faces were stiff and purple.
I stared blankly at my mother-in-law.
“Mom, the kids are gone. I don’t want to live anymore.”
1
I sat numbly outside the morgue, unable to bring myself to go inside.
My mother-in-law wept, her hand trembling as she reached out to me.
“Sarah… Mark didn’t mean to, I swear. Don’t worry, Grandpa and I are on your side. We’ll teach him a lesson…”
Her voice faded, a buzzing sound filling my ears. I couldn’t make out her words.
I kept replaying the scene from that morning in my mind.
A layer of frost covered their tiny faces, their lips were a dark purple, and a strange smile was etched on their faces. My son’s arm was wrapped protectively around his sister.
Even in death, he was protecting her.
I slowly looked up at my mother-in-law, gritting my teeth.
“Mark is a murderer! He killed my children, and I’m calling the police!”
My voice was chillingly cold. My mother-in-law paled but continued to sob.
“Sarah, I know, I know it’s Mark’s fault, but please… for his father’s sake, forgive him. Please forgive him, okay?”
“For his father saving your parents, please forgive him this once! I know he didn’t mean it. Don’t worry, he’ll kneel before you and apologize…”
I squeezed my eyes shut. My heart felt like it was being repeatedly stabbed with a rusty knife. The pain was unbearable.
Seeing a flicker of hesitation, my mother-in-law frantically pulled out her phone.
“I’ll call Mark right now. I’ll make him apologize…”
But upon hearing that I was at the hospital with her, Mark’s voice turned icy.
“Vivian’s pregnant. I need to take care of her. Don’t bother me with that woman!”
Vivian was Mark’s mistress.
At those words, I finally collapsed, losing consciousness.
I woke up at home. As soon as I opened my eyes, I saw Mark walking in, heading straight for me, beginning to unbuckle his belt.
Rage consumed me. I grabbed my pillow and threw it at him.
“Get out!”
Mark caught the pillow easily, his expression one of disdain and mockery.
“Playing the virtuous wife now? You had your mother call me home, didn’t you? Waiting for this moment?”
Nausea washed over me. My stomach churned. Mark, however, ignored my discomfort, jumping onto the bed and pinning me down.
I hadn’t eaten or drunk anything for a day and a night. The psychological and physical trauma left me without the strength to resist.
As I watched the ceiling light sway, tears streamed down my face.
I looked silently at the ceiling, speaking softly.
“Mark, the children are gone.”
2
Mark froze. After a moment, he sat up, studying me for a while before scoffing.
“Sarah, I underestimated you. You’re even using the kids’ death as a joke?”
I didn’t look at him, my gaze fixed on the ceiling.
“Twenty below zero, you locked me in the basement and made the kids kneel outside all night. Do you think they could have survived…?”
Before I could finish, Mark got up and started getting dressed.
“You think I’ll believe that fairy tale? I told the nanny to only punish them for half an hour. She wouldn’t dare disobey me.”
“Sarah, stop with the theatrics. It only disgusts me more.”
With that, he left the bedroom without looking back.
The door slammed shut. I couldn’t hold back my tears any longer, burying my face in my hands and sobbing uncontrollably.
Fifteen years of a crush, five years of marriage—twenty years. I loved Mark for twenty years.
I was ten when we first met. He came to our house with his parents. Ten-year-old Mark was taller than me, and I thought, He’s so handsome, like a prince from a fairy tale.
I begged my parents to transfer me to his school. From that day on, I became his shadow.
At eighteen, Mark stood before me.
“Sarah, can I like you? I promise, I’ll treat you well.”
Eight years of secret longing finally blossomed, and I eagerly nodded.
For two years, he kept his promise, treating me exceptionally well. I cherished him, wanting to give him the moon and the stars.
When we were twenty, my parents and Mark’s parents went on a hiking trip. Only my parents and Mark’s mother returned. Mark’s father fell to his death.
From that day on, Mark hated me, and my parents.
At twenty-five, his father’s death left the company on the brink of bankruptcy. His mother came to my family, asking for our help.
I readily agreed, even though my parents assured me they would save the company.
But he was the man I loved for fifteen years. Even knowing his hatred, I jumped in headfirst.
But now, that determination, that unwavering devotion, had vanished with the loss of my children.
Sobbing, I called my mother-in-law.
“Mom, I have nothing left. Please, let me go.”
There was silence on the other end, followed by a deep sigh.
“Alright, I’ll send someone to pick you up. Come to the old house.”
Grandpa sat in the main seat of the living room. Upon seeing me, he beckoned me closer.
“My dear, I know what’s happened. You’ve suffered a lot.”
“Tomorrow is the children’s funeral. After that, you can leave if you wish. As for Mark, I’ll make him give you an explanation.”
I turned to my mother-in-law. Her eyes were red, and her gaze held nothing but pity.
Then, Mark’s voice cut through the air.
“So late, what’s the rush? Vivian’s pregnant…”
He stopped mid-sentence, noticing me standing before my father-in-law. He smirked.
“It’s you. You couldn’t trick me with the kids’ deaths, so you came to Grandpa for help? Let me tell you…”
Grandpa gasped, his cane thumping heavily on the floor.
“You ingrate! Get down on your knees!”
3
Mark’s face was contorted with resentment.
“I can’t believe you’ve manipulated them into protecting you! Is it just the money? The fact that the Xu family saved the company five years ago? What’s so great about it?!”
“In your eyes, money is more important than my father?!”
My mother-in-law’s slap cut through Mark’s roar.
“Shut up! Are you even human? Your own children are barely cold, and you’re with your mistress! Mark! Is this how your father and I raised you?!”
Mark stumbled, almost falling, but he straightened his neck and retorted stubbornly.
“You’ve completely fallen for her lies, haven’t you? She’s brainwashed you into believing this!”
Grandpa’s booming voice echoed in the living room.
“I said, shut your mouth!”
Mark froze, his face turning pale. He knew that even if my mother-in-law might lie, Grandpa wouldn’t.
He sneered, but there was a glimmer of tears in his eyes, or perhaps I was mistaken.
“Really dead? Good. They’re paying for my father’s life…”
Before he could finish, Grandpa rose and began to beat him with his cane.
“You monster! You monster! If it weren’t for Sarah’s grandfather, I would have died on the battlefield. Five years ago, if it weren’t for Sarah’s parents, He Company wouldn’t be here today!”
“They were your own children! You’re a monster!”
Mark stood rigidly, tears streaming down his face.
“So, her grandfather saved you, and my father had to pay the price? Just because they have money, you’ve forgotten about my dad?”
Grandpa paused, clutching his chest and gasping for breath. He almost fainted. My mother-in-law quickly got his medicine and gave it to him. He finally recovered, his trembling finger pointing towards the door.
“Get out! Get out of my house! I don’t have a son like you!”
Mark wiped his tears furiously and left without looking back.
Mark didn’t attend the funeral the next day.
At the children’s graves, Grandpa’s eyes were red, and his cane pounded the ground.
“Where is that good-for-nothing?! It’s his children’s funeral, and he’s nowhere to be found!”
My mother-in-law glanced nervously at me and Grandpa.
“I called him, but his phone is off. He’s not at the company either. We can’t find him.”
My tears flowed freely, but I bit my lip, remaining silent until I tasted blood.
My mother-in-law looked at me with pity and gently patted my back.
“My dear, let it all out, don’t hold back…”
Grandpa was even angrier at Mark.
“Find him! Find that bastard! Search high and low until you find him!”
I bowed deeply to Grandpa, then stood up and forced a smile.
“No need, Grandpa. The kids wouldn’t want to see him. Don’t let him taint their memory.”
“Grandpa, your words still stand, right? Please take care of your health. Goodbye.”
Grandpa mumbled something, but he didn’t say anything else.
After leaving the cemetery, I went straight home.
There were still many of the children’s belongings. I wanted to take them with me. I didn’t want them to be alone in that empty house.
But as I opened the door, I saw a slender figure standing outside the children’s room, directing two workers.
“Yes, yes, these. Get rid of all this trash. It’s bad luck to keep it.”
4
I thought my heart was already dead, that nothing could stir my emotions again.
But Vivian’s words pierced through me. I stumbled into the children’s room and shoved the workers away.
“Stop! Stop it! Who gave you permission to touch these things?!”
Vivian stepped forward, placing her hand gently on her belly, her eyes filled with smugness.
“Oh, Sarah, you’re back. Don’t be mad. I told them to do this. Mark said the kids are gone, so there’s no point keeping this room, right?”
“You heard, right? I’m pregnant now. Mark said he’ll turn this room into a playroom for our baby…”
I lost control, slapping Vivian across the face.
“This is my house. Get out of here with your people…”
Before I could finish, a strong push came from behind, sending me crashing to the ground. My eyes fell on a crumpled piece of paper.
It was a drawing of our family of four. The kids couldn’t write, but at the top, they had drawn a big heart.
Mark’s voice boomed in my ear.
“Sarah, what are you doing?”
I fought back the tears, staring at him intently.
“This is the children’s room. You and Vivian have no right to touch anything here!”
Vivian leaned against Mark, her earlier smugness replaced with a look of hurt.
“Mark, I just wanted to put the kids’ things away, to spare you and Sarah the pain. Sarah misunderstood and hit me. Don’t be angry.”
“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have touched anything here.”
A sharp pain shot through my hand. I had scraped my hand when I fell. Tiny beads of blood welled up.
Mark’s gaze fell on my hand. He frowned, but the moment he heard Vivian’s voice, his eyes turned cold again.
“The kids’ deaths were an accident. Now that they’re gone, what’s the point of keeping this room? Stop making a fuss. Vivian’s pregnant now, don’t you think it’s bad luck having dead people’s things around?”
He then turned to the workers.
“Go ahead, move everything. Ignore her.”
I scrambled to my feet, pushing the workers away.
“Get out! All of you, get out! I dare you to touch these things!”
