Goodbye, Gentleness

Chapter One

Nine years with Holden, ten divorces.

The eleventh time, he was picking out a diamond ring with his little girlfriend.

“The girl’s pregnant, just going through the motions. I’ll remarry you in eight months.”

“In the meantime, you move out. Meals delivered three times a day.”

“And get your postpartum doula certification. You’re too delicate for the rigors of childcare.”

I took the divorce papers and nodded obediently.

Leaving, I overheard his friend’s laughter.

“Holden’s a master, he’s trained his wife like a dog.”

Holden smirked. “Nothing to it. Nancy’s cheap.”

“Even if I don’t remarry her, she’ll happily raise my kid and be my mistress.”

I didn’t respond, silently texting my man.

“Divorce papers in hand, when do we get married?”

1.

His reply was swift. “Tomorrow.”

“I’ll catch the earliest flight back.”

Then, five million, two hundred thousand dollars hit my bank account.

Note: Bridal gift.

I smiled, tucking the phone away.

Holden noticed the smile, called me over, and spoke with displeasure.

“Nancy, what’s so funny? Are you heartbroken and gone mad?”

Logically, I should have been heartbroken.

After all, the first time Holden filed for divorce for Susan,

I was devastated, crying for three days and nights.

I begged him not to leave, kneeling before all our friends and family.

I even self-harmed in desperation, but it didn’t change his mind.

But this time, I looked at Holden calmly.

“Congratulations on becoming a father.”

Holden nodded.

His words were cold and perfunctory.

“Don’t worry, we’ll remarry after the baby is born.”

“Just be obedient. In public, this child will call you ‘Mom’.”

I’d heard similar lines countless times over nine years.

The first time, he’d fallen for Susan, a new intern.

The girl refused to be a mistress despite a hefty bribe.

Holden immediately divorced me.

After sleeping with Susan, he smugly showed me their bed photos.

“Young girls are different, so pure and innocent!”

From then on, Holden was hooked on this feeling.

A spontaneous encounter in a mountain cabin, making me trek miles in a blizzard for birth control.

Susan’s bad mood led to me kneeling and barking like a dog.

Deliveries were too slow.

My barking wasn’t loud enough.

Any dissatisfaction from Susan led to divorce to appease her.

Then he’d quietly remarry to maintain the family alliance.

This repeated for nine years; I was numb.

I walked expressionlessly toward the door.

Suddenly, I heard Susan’s furious voice.

“I don’t like any of these rings! I want the one Nancy’s wearing!”

“Okay, okay, sweetheart, don’t be mad, I’ll get it for you.”

Holden dropped his coldness.

He roughly pulled the ring from my finger, carefully presenting it to Susan.

The tiny diamonds cut my finger.

A ten-carat yellow sapphire, stained with blood.

Susan frowned, tossing it aside.

“So unlucky.”

Holden remained unfazed, soothing her.

He finally agreed to give her the ancestral ruby ring, satisfying her.

I fought back tears, trembling as I tried to retrieve my mother’s heirloom.

Holden stepped on my hand.

“Nancy, it’s your fault Susan’s upset. If you don’t make her happy, you’ll never come back to the family!”

At that, I shuddered.

It wasn’t Holden I cared about; I knew his methods too well.

Once, I refused to wash Susan’s used lingerie.

Susan sulked, ignoring Holden.

An enraged Holden stripped me naked and locked me on the balcony.

We wrestled until dawn, and I was left feverish with hypothermia.

He refused medical help and forced me to clean up the mess.

Thinking of this, I lowered my head.

Bent at the waist, I said, “I’m sorry, it’s all my fault.”

Before I finished, someone kicked me.

I fell against the counter, my forehead swelling.

The pain brought tears to my eyes.

I lay on the floor, trembling.

Holden hissed, kicking me with his foot.

“Hey, I just bumped into you, what’s with the drama?”

“Forget it, I don’t want to bother with you. Come to the family estate tomorrow, say you wanted that ring. Don’t let it slip!”

He grabbed Susan and rushed away.

After some time, I got up.

Gravel was embedded in my skin.

I staggered to the curb, about to hail a cab to the hospital.

Then I saw Susan’s car speeding toward me.

2.

A loud crash. Blackness.

In my haze, I heard Holden and a doctor.

“Nancy miscarried?”

“Forget it, don’t bother with her, Susan’s baby’s fine. Send all the doctors and nurses to Susan, I’ll watch over her.”

Holden entered.

Our eyes met; his expression was awkward.

He stammered.

“I didn’t know you were pregnant, but a miscarriage is nothing big, not the first time.

“Without this child, you can focus on Susan’s baby.”

I said nothing, remembering our first child.

Then, Holden was with Susan.

The girl cried, saying she didn’t want to break up a family.

To appease her, Holden forced me to take abortion pills.

“Don’t think pregnancy will tie me down. I hate kids, especially yours!”

The improper abortion led to a D&C.

Right off the operating table, I received photos from Susan.

While I was hemorrhaging,

Holden and Susan had a three-day marathon in our bedroom.

The trash can overflowed with dozens of used condoms.

My antique bed was broken.

Holden even framed Susan’s bloodstained sheets, replacing our wedding photo.

After that, I had no hope for Holden.

I endured the marriage for business dealings.

I remained silent, Holden offered chicken soup.

“I made you soup, eat it while it’s hot.”

My arm ached.

Before I could ask, Holden averted his gaze.

“Susan was in a car accident, she’s vain, I’m afraid of scarring, so I took some of your skin.”

“What?” I was stunned.

Holden became angry.

“Don’t play the victim, you ran into the road and scared Susan! It’s your fault, you must take responsibility!”

He spilled the soup, burning my thigh.

I reached for the call button.

Holden grabbed my wrist.

“Susan needs a doctor after surgery.”

“You’re tough, bear with it, don’t be dramatic.”

Blood seeped from my arm wound.

A doctor rushed in.

“Ms. Susan has a severe reaction, needs another surgery.”

Holden pulled me toward Susan.

Seeing the tearful Susan, his eyes held undisguised concern.

“Susan, don’t be afraid, Nancy has plenty of skin, if it doesn’t work we’ll try more…”

The doctor stopped him.

“Mr. Holden, this is impossible, it will severely damage the donor, another surgery will cripple her arm, she won’t play the piano.”

Holden pushed me forward.

“Good, she can’t play anymore, Susan can take her position.”

“You’ll stay home and do chores, I’ll support you.”

To ensure success, Holden ordered no anesthesia.

Seeing me pale and sweating,

He patted my shoulder.

“I owe you one. Later…I’ll spend more time at home with you.”

Susan grumbled from behind.

Holden turned, embracing her.

More transfers, gifts, a trip to the Maldives.

He forgot about me.

My phone rang, interrupting Holden.

3.

Seeing the familiar name, the pain eased.

I briefly reported my safety.

Holden eyed me suspiciously.

“Whose call?”

“Someone from the Holden family.”

Holden wasn’t surprised.

He warned me not to snitch and stopped questioning.

In his eyes, I couldn’t have contact with other men.

After marriage, Holden cut off all my social connections.

I revolved only around him and the Holden family.

Ignoring the couple’s flirting, I grabbed my phone to leave.

Dizziness hit me.

As I fell, Holden caught me.

A flicker of concern in his eyes.

“Um…after you recover, come to the Maldives with us, relax.”

“No,” I said coldly.

Holden took me on a vacation, a “honeymoon.”

It turned out Susan couldn’t handle foreign food, making me her unpaid maid.

I refused.

Holden threw my phone and passport.

Leaving me penniless in a foreign country.

I almost got trafficked, returning with great difficulty.

This time, I wouldn’t fall for it.

My coldness angered Holden.

He wanted to scold me.

Seeing my pale face, he swallowed his words.

“Rest well. I’ll bring you a gift.”

Gifts Susan rejected?

I chuckled, saying nothing.

I went for my test results.

The hospital staff were with Susan.

An intern finally arrived.

She looked at me sympathetically.

“The accident wasn’t serious, just minor scrapes.”

“But Ms. Shen, this is your second miscarriage, if you don’t take care, you’ll have lifelong consequences.”

She wanted to continue.

Someone urged her to check on Susan.

Their conversation reached my ears.

“Why are you so nice to her, everyone knows she’s just Mrs. Holden in name only, Ms. Susan is the one Mr. Holden loves!”

“Now that Ms. Susan is pregnant, this old woman will be kicked out any minute.”

Anyone who helped me got fired by Susan.

I didn’t want to involve anyone, taking my report, I left.

On the drive home, fireworks exploded.

The driver commented.

“I heard the Holden CEO’s wife is pregnant, they’ve been setting off fireworks for a month. The rich sure spoil their wives.”

Remembering my lost children, I was heartbroken.

I looked at my phone.

Headlines were all about it.

Holden bought a million-dollar jade Buddha for his wife’s pregnancy.

He bought all the baby supplies in the city.

He built schools to pray for his wife and child.

He made a grand spectacle, announcing his fatherhood.

I felt a pang of bitterness.

With my first loss, I cried all night.

I wanted Holden to go to the temple with me.

He found me unlucky, ruining his time with Susan, leaving me on a mountain.

Holden didn’t dislike children.

He just disliked me.

I sighed, dragging myself home.

Packing, Holden returned.

He looked at my suitcase.

Reluctantly, he said, “You don’t have to move out.”

“I know you miss me, move to the guest room. Susan’s generous, she won’t bother you.”

My wounds ached.

I shook my head.

“We’re divorced, I shouldn’t live here.”

“I don’t need anything, just give me my dowry shares.”

Holden looked like he wanted to keep me.

I added, “So Susan won’t be upset seeing my things.”

Holden quickly opened the safe.

After searching, he found a crumpled contract under the table.

He explained casually, “Susan and I were playing in the study, used it as a coaster.”

I lowered my head, smoothing the creases.

Tears fell uncontrollably.

“Holden…you’re too much.”

My family’s company wasn’t as big as the Holdens, but it was my parents’ life’s work.

Mom, before she died, gave me everything so I could live well with the Holdens.

This kindness shouldn’t be treated like this.

This was the first time I showed vulnerability to Holden.

He panicked.

4.

“I didn’t mean to, your shares aren’t worth much, I’ll double the compensation.”

Holden reached for his phone to transfer money.

Halfway through, Susan called, afraid of the dark.

He pocketed his phone.

“She’s delicate, needs me to sleep with her.”

“It’s late, it’s not safe for you to move alone, let’s talk tomorrow. Take a sugar-free breakfast to the hospital, she’s picky.”

I ignored Holden, taking my suitcase to my room.

Two messages appeared.

One from my man.

“See you at the courthouse at 1 PM.”

One from Holden.

“It’s going to rain, you’re still recovering, don’t rush. Rest at home, no need to deliver breakfast, I’ll take Susan to the sky garden.”

After nine years, Holden reported his schedule for the first time.

He expressed concern.

Too late.

I blocked his number.

I finished packing and left.

Holden stormed out of his Ferrari.

He slapped me.

“You bitch, you pretended to be virtuous, then you told Grandpa to freeze my card.”

“I was going to propose to Susan, you ruined it!”

“From now on, don’t try to remarry me, or step foot in the Holden family again!”

He kicked my suitcase into the pool.

My parents’ gifts were ruined.

Ignoring the throbbing pain, I jumped in.

My wounds reopened, staining the water red.

After retrieving my things,

My body was swollen, my skin pale.

Susan pretended to offer a robe.

She twisted my wound.

“You think Grandpa’s protection is enough? 司南 loves me, I’ll be Mrs. Holden!”

“We’ll get our license this afternoon, you can cry with your divorce papers!”

I gasped, unable to speak.

Holden spat on me, embracing Susan.

A kind stranger took me to the hospital.

Susan sent taunting messages.

When I had my accident, Holden ignored my calls, attending a concert with Susan.

I was removed from the company because Holden helped Susan.

The company, the mansion, even both families’ estates.

Holden and Susan slept everywhere in the city.

She wanted me to give up.

But she didn’t know I no longer loved Holden.

I turned off my phone and went to the courthouse.

My man waited.

He handed me the marriage certificate and put the ring on my finger.

“I’ll get the car, let’s go home.”

Holden and Susan entered.

“Nancy, I told you I won’t remarry you, don’t bother me.”

“You’re wrong, I’m not bothering you, because…”

I didn’t want to hear Holden’s accusations.

I held up my marriage certificate.

“I’m married.”