Hard to cross

Chapter 1

I was the last to know that John had become a dad.

At the hospital, I heard him instructing someone, “Keep the baby news quiet. I don’t want Ashley coming back and making a scene.”

I’d been in love with him for ten years, confessed my feelings a year ago.

He’d said, “When you finish your studies and come back, we’ll be together.”

How ironic.

This time, I didn’t throw a fit like I used to, didn’t question his lies.

Instead, I flew back abroad and accepted a marriage proposal from a guy who’d been pursuing me.

From that moment on, John was dead to me.

“John, keeping it under wraps won’t work. Ashley will find out if she comes back.”

A woman by the window was talking to John in the hospital room.

He cradled a baby, his eyes full of adoration.

At her words, his expression turned cold.

“Let her come back. If she finds out, I’ll explain. I just don’t want her making a scene because she can’t handle it.”

“After all, everyone knows how obsessed she was with me.”

I froze at the doorway.

Yes, I had been obsessed with him.

If he was near another woman, I’d shoo her away.

If he so much as spoke to another woman, I’d question if he still loved me.

“True, everyone knows how she is.”

The woman laughed, then her face clouded over.

“What about when you get married? Will you keep that a secret too?”

John kissed the baby. “We’ll see.”

Just then, Jessica stepped out of the bathroom.

John immediately put the baby down and rushed to Jessica’s side, concerned.

“Jess, careful now.”

“Oh my, Jess, you’re so lucky to have such a caring fiancé.”

“No wonder you’re okay with having a baby before marriage.”

My heart lurched, almost stopped.

Jessica was my best friend.

Before I left for school, I’d asked her to keep an eye on John for me.

And now, she was his fiancée.

I never thought such a cliché, soap opera-esque scenario would happen to me.

Suddenly, I didn’t know if I should go in.

And if I did, what right did I have to question John?

After all, we were never officially together.

A year ago, he’d only promised, “When you finish your studies and come back, we’ll be together.”

I pulled out my phone, clicked on John’s contact.

He hadn’t contacted me in ages. The last text was a week ago, asking if I’d eaten. I’d replied yes and shared a funny story about seeing a stray cat.

He never replied.

I texted him: “John, what are you up to?”

As soon as I sent it, John’s phone pinged in the room.

He glanced at it, didn’t reply, and closed his phone.

His friend, noticing, chuckled. “Why not reply?”

John stroked Jessica’s hand, his voice flat. “Nothing to reply to.”

“I’ve always hated her. If it weren’t for her being my dad’s adopted daughter, I wouldn’t have played along.”

“Jessica is the only one I’ve ever loved.”

Chapter 2

I don’t remember how I left the hospital.

Just that I stumbled, bumping into several people.

At the entrance, I ran into another one of John’s friends.

He was holding flowers, his eyes widening in surprise.

“Ashley, when did you get back?”

“What are you doing here?”

The questions brought me back to the present.

I’d just returned after a year of studying abroad.

Feeling unwell after the flight, I’d come to the hospital.

What a coincidence that I happened to pass John’s room.

I wanted to say something, but nothing came out.

So I ran.

Only after hailing a cab did the harsh reality hit me –

The man I loved was no longer mine.

He’d lied to me, and so had my best friend.

I didn’t understand why.

Then, John called.

“Ashley, you’re back?”

His voice was as gentle as ever.

If I hadn’t seen everything, I’d still be in the dark.

“Yeah, I’m back.”

I replied softly.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve picked you up. My friend just said he saw you at the hospital. What were you doing there?”

“Seeing a doctor.”

For some reason, I didn’t want to confront him yet.

Maybe I still held a sliver of hope, wanted him to confess.

“I’ll come find you. I’m near the hospital anyway.”

Soon, John’s car pulled up.

He’d changed clothes and styled his hair.

He noticed me looking him over. He quickly smiled. “We haven’t seen each other in a year. You’re as beautiful as ever, but I’ve gained weight.”

“Ashley, you won’t mind, right?”

I didn’t answer, my eyes fixed on a tattoo on his collarbone.

JSS 1997.3.08

Jessica’s initials and her birthday.

A chill ran through me.

A year ago, John had made a promise.

He’d acted so in love, taken me to his room, kissed my cheek.

He’d said, “Ashley, we grew up together. You know how I feel about you.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll wait for you.”

And now, he’d betrayed me.

“No, I don’t mind.”

He seemed relieved.

“Great! Let’s grab some food to celebrate your return.”

Chapter 3

In the car, I spotted a woman’s blouse and a baby bottle in the back.

“My friend and his wife left those here last time they visited.”

John’s explanation was hurried.

I remembered his words in the hospital room.

I couldn’t grasp how he could claim to love me while being with someone else, having a child.

I stayed silent, staring out the window.

He chatted the entire ride, asking about my year abroad.

I barely listened, wanting only to hear the truth from him.

A sniffle coming on, I reached for a tissue in the glove compartment.

Inside was a box of expensive-looking tissues.

As I reached, John stopped me.

“Use the ones in the bag. Those are scented, and I remember you liking scented tissues.”

I froze.

I hated scented tissues.

They always made me sneeze.

He’d once seen me sneeze and said, “I’ll remember you can’t use scented tissues.”

I retracted my hand, staring at the box.

I recognized them from online – pricey, designed for babies.

He didn’t want to waste them on me.

It was laughable.

“I don’t like scented tissues.”

“What? You always used to.”

John hadn’t caught on yet.

I closed my eyes, feigning sleep.

At the restaurant, he ordered three dishes.

“Eat up. You must be tired after your trip.”

I stared at the food, unable to eat.

Every dish had celery.

I hated celery.

He used to remember, always picking it out for me.

Oblivious, he continued eating, “So, what are you doing back? I thought you hadn’t graduated yet?”

He’d forgotten everything.

My dislikes, the tissues, his promise.

I forced down a bite of celery beef.

“I graduated…”

His phone rang.

The caller ID: Wife.

Panic flashed in his eyes as he answered, lowering his voice.

He listened, then replied, “I’ll be right there.”

He hung up, looking at me. “There’s been an emergency. I have to go.”

“Ashley, eat without me. I’ll throw you a proper welcome party tomorrow.”

Before I could respond, he grabbed his keys and left.

Watching him go, my heart felt pierced.

I’d counted down the days, eager to return and be with him.

Now, it was all gone.

His promise had vanished like a bubble.

Chapter 4

I was ten when the Johnsons adopted me.

My dad, John’s father’s best friend, had cancer and entrusted me to their care.

At the Johnsons’, everyone but Mr. Johnson treated me poorly.

Being adopted, the maids and Mrs. Johnson saw no need for respect.

I tiptoed around, never taking too much food, never asking for allowance.

I remember once, going days without food, sneaking into the kitchen at night.

A maid caught and scolded me. John appeared, intervening.

“How dare you treat Miss Ashley this way?”

That was our first meeting.

Later, I learned he was the eldest son, six years older, already in high school.

He visited daily after that, shielding me from their cruelty.

He’d always say, “Ashley, I’ll protect you.”

Then, on my 18th birthday, he stumbled into my room, drunk.

He kissed me.

Said he wanted to marry me.

So I held onto that dream.

Lost in thought, I got a text from Jessica.

“Are you back? Just wanted to let you know, John and I have a baby and are getting married next month.”

She’d always pretended to be looking out for me, ensuring John was behaving.

Now, the mask was off.

Chapter 5

Before, I would have confronted John.

I clung to the memory of his words on my birthday.

I believed he loved me.

Every time I made a scene, he’d distance himself from other women.

But this time, I was too tired.

I turned off my phone, checked into a hotel.

Then I contacted a talent scout who’d approached me.

I told him I was ready to be a singer.

He’d seen my potential abroad, persistently inviting me to his agency.

He said I had a gift, that I could be a star.

But I’d been fixated on John, so I’d refused.

He replied quickly: “You finally came around! When can you come in?”

I thought, this trip had been so impulsive.

I’d wanted to surprise John, but he’d surprised me instead.

I’d lost my enthusiasm for everything. But then I thought of Mr. Johnson.

He’d raised me for years. I decided to visit him.

So I told the scout I’d be back in three days.

The next day, John contacted me first.

He said he was throwing me a welcome party at a club, would pick me up soon.

I wanted to refuse, to confront him.

But I didn’t want Mr. Johnson to find out.

I decided to keep the peace until I left.

I gave him the address.

He picked me up, but didn’t go in with me.

He said, “Go ahead inside. I need to pick someone else up.”

Chapter 6

Inside the private room, the chatter died down as everyone stared.

Someone whispered, “Why is she here?”

“Didn’t John say this was just for show? It’s really a celebration for the baby.”

Their voices were low, but my hearing was sharp.

“Ashley, come sit!”

A friend waved me over.

He, Jessica, and I were classmates, once close.

Clearly, he was in on it too.

He’d never mentioned a thing during our calls this past year.

I choked back my emotions and sat.

Soon, John arrived, Jessica trailing behind.

The room buzzed back to life.

Gifts and flowers were presented.

John quickly said, “Hold on, these should be for Ashley. She’s the guest of honor.”

Jessica shot me a glare.

They were all playing me for a fool.

These people, once my friends, who’d assured me John and I were meant to be.

My chest tightened. I excused myself to the restroom.

Splashing cold water on my face, I saw Jessica in the mirror.

“Did you get my message yesterday?”

“Ashley, John doesn’t love you anymore. Let him go.”

“For the sake of our friendship, can you just let us be happy?”

As I opened my mouth to reply, she suddenly pulled out a small knife and slashed her wrist.

Blood welled up. She dropped the knife, looking at me with a pained expression. “Ashley, John and I are truly in love. Please don’t hurt me.”

Just then, John walked in.

Chapter 7

“Ashley, are you crazy?”

John shoved me aside, rushing to Jessica’s side.

“I’m sorry, John. It’s my fault. Ashley asked about us, and I couldn’t hide it anymore.”

“That’s why she lost it.”

Jessica spoke weakly.

John’s face contorted with rage.

“Ashley, how could you be so vicious?”

“So what if I’m with Jessica? It’s none of your business!”

I stared at them in disbelief.

One, my best friend.

Before I left, she’d said, “Ashley, don’t worry, I’ll take care of John.”

The other, the man I loved.

He’d promised, “When you finish your studies and come back, we’ll be together.”

They’d both lied.

Now, I wondered if they’d planned this before I even left.

But why? Why the deception?

If they were in love, why not tell me?

Why hurt me like this?

“Ashley, I put up with your tantrums before, but hurting Jessica? Apologize, now!”

“I didn’t cut her.”

I looked at John.

He’d never spoken to me this way.

Now, for Jessica, he was yelling, distrusting me.

“Still lying? I saw it with my own eyes!”

He roared.

“John, it’s okay. I’m fine. Let’s go to the hospital.”

Jessica whimpered.

“No, she deserves an apology. I’m done pretending. Let’s just rip off the bandaid.”

Their act was sickening.

Two people I’d trusted, both changed.

“Fine, I apologize.”

“Jessica, I’m sorry.”

“Get on your knees and apologize. She’s my fiancée. I won’t let her be wronged.”