If You Abandon Me, I’ll Leave on My Own
Chapter 1
My mother was critically ill, needing a million dollars for her treatment. I frantically scrambled for money, borrowing from anyone who would lend.
Desperation gnawed at me until my childhood sweetheart, Trey, arrived with a check for the full amount. His condition? Marriage.
Everyone expected me to say yes. I didn’t.
Because in my past life, even after marrying him, my mother died from a botched surgery.
Later, I overheard a conversation between Trey and a doctor.
“Trey, you deliberately sabotaged the surgery to get Shen Yan’s mother’s kidney for Nanman Fang.”
“Is this worth it? If Shen Yan finds out, you’re finished.”
“I just want Nanman alive. Besides, marrying a woman like Shen Yan? My life was already over.”
That’s when I learned our marriage was a meticulously crafted lie for his true love.
1.
“Don’t worry, Yan, as long as I’m here, your mom will get better. I’ll take care of both of you.”
I looked up, meeting his eyes, brimming with what seemed like concern.
Those very eyes had deceived me for five years in my past life, costing my mother her life.
The other patients and their families started cheering, “Say yes! Say yes!”
Trey and I had grown up together, sharing an unspoken romance for ten years. If he hadn’t fallen for Nanman Fang, the college student he’d been sponsoring, we might have married long ago.
His proposal, back then, had moved me. I’d thought he still cared for me.
After the wedding, I discovered it was a sham. He remained untouched for Nanman.
I tried my best to please him, to salvage our marriage.
But it was a fraud from the start. He’d killed my mother to get a kidney for Nanman.
The shock had led to my own death in a car accident.
Luckily, I was given a second chance, back to the beginning. This time, I’d save my mother and stay far away from those two “true lovers.”
I reached out; Trey thought I was taking the check, a smug smile spreading across his face.
I pushed it back.
“No. Marriage shouldn’t be this hasty. Unhappy people don’t belong together.”
His smile froze. “Yan, what are you saying?”
“I’m serious. Haven’t you noticed my feelings all these years?”
“No, keep the money. I’ll find a way.”
Trey sighed dramatically, feigning heartache. “Yan, what’s gotten into you? Nanman and I, really, there’s nothing…”
I lowered my gaze, hiding the sarcasm in my eyes. If there was nothing, why would he kill for her kidney? Even marry someone he didn’t love?
“Will you see her less often?” I asked coldly.
He hesitated. Just as he was about to speak, a nurse rushed in.
“Dr. Stone, a VIP patient needs to see you!”
Trey shifted, forcing calmness.
“A patient needs me. I’ll be right back. Think it over, your mom’s illness can’t wait.”
He rushed out before I could reply. He was always image-conscious; his panic clearly involved Nanman.
In my past life, consumed with my mother’s illness, I hadn’t noticed Nanman was in the same hospital.
I followed him to a VIP room. Through the slightly ajar door, I saw Nanman, pale and weak.
“Trey, don’t bother with me anymore. I’m dying of kidney failure, just let me die!”
Trey gently held her, soothingly. “Nanman, don’t worry, I’ve found a kidney.”
“Just wait two days. For you, I’m willing to marry a woman I don’t love and spend the rest of my life with her.”
Nanman touched his face, tears welling up.
“No, don’t sacrifice yourself for me. I want you to be happy. It’s okay if I die.”
Trey looked down, his eyes intense and desperate. “No, I won’t let you die.”
“Tell me, is there anyone else in your heart?”
Nanman’s eyes welled up, hesitant. “Don’t say that, Shen Yan will be unhappy…”
“I only want your answer, I don’t care about anyone else!”
Nanman finally stopped resisting, leaning in to kiss him.
They kissed passionately, lost in the moment.
I raised my phone and took a picture of this tender scene.
Before, this would have broken my heart. Now, I only felt numb and disgusted.
I left, calling my grandfather.
“I’ll return to the family, but on one condition: arrange the best heart surgery for my mother immediately.”
“The surgeon and medical team must be top-notch.”
He was overjoyed. “No problem, I’ll arrange it right away. I’m so glad you’ve come to your senses!”
In my past life, if Trey hadn’t proposed marriage, I would have contacted my grandfather. I was Shen family’s estranged granddaughter from the city of Jing.
Last year, after my father and his wife died, the Shen family contacted me to take over the family business. I refused, because I was the product of rape.
My mother suffered so much to raise me; I didn’t want to acknowledge that rapist as my father.
But now, for my mother’s life, I had to compromise.
In my previous life, Trey, as her surgeon, had the power to let her die. With a new hospital and doctors, it should be fail-safe this time.
2.
Perhaps because of his promise to Nanman, Trey was even more attentive.
He showed up at the ward early in the morning.
“Yan, I bought your favorite crab roe buns. Eat some.”
I ignored him, packing my mother’s things, speaking coldly.
“No thanks, I already ate.”
He frowned. “What’s wrong with you? You’ve been cold to me these last few days.”
Before, anything he bought, even a bottle of water, would have thrilled me. My coldness clearly unsettled him.
“Nothing. We’re just friends. No need to be this intimate.”
This stung him. Although he’d always considered me just a friend, he didn’t want to hear it from me.
He said, a bit annoyed, “Don’t be childish.”
“I know you’re angry at me because of your mother. Everyone knows you like me.”
I looked at him, smirking. “Didn’t you say that? That we’re just friends?”
He’d said this repeatedly to avoid Nanman’s misunderstandings, distancing himself from me.
His face turned unpleasant. He seemed to remember too.
Suddenly, he saw the empty bed. He grabbed my arm anxiously.
“Where’s your mom? Why isn’t she in bed?”
His grip hurt. I frowned. “I transferred her to another hospital.”
“What?!”
“Why did you transfer her? I’m her doctor. Why wasn’t I informed?”
“Yan, where did you move her?!”
I stared at him, a sarcastic curve to my lips. “Why are you so worried?”
He was momentarily stunned, stammering. “I…I’m of course worried about your mom’s condition.”
“After all, she practically raised me. I consider her my mother.”
“Besides, I’m the best cardiac surgeon in A-city. How could you transfer her without my consent?!”
He grew bolder, the last two sentences tinged with accusation.
As a child, his parents were often away on business, leaving him to be abused by the nanny. He’d come to my mother’s breakfast diner, scavenging leftover food. Tiny and frail, he looked five, not eight.
My mother, kind-hearted, took pity on him, contacting his parents about the nanny. She took him in, letting him live with us.
Without my mother, he might not have survived. Yet, even with that debt of gratitude, he showed no mercy to her.
He released my arm, his expression complex. “Yan, did you… get a second chance too?”
I admitted it frankly. “Yes. So stop pretending, Trey.”
He seemed relieved upon hearing my confession.
“Yan, you know, the surgery in the past life was an accident.”
“I’ll definitely create a more perfect surgical plan this time.”
“Besides, who else in A-city has my skills?”
He took my hand, his eyes soft.
“We’ve been together for so long. Haven’t I been good to you?”
“Why don’t you trust me?”
He continued playing the role of the devoted husband. Yet after marriage, he’d refused my touch using “sexual anxiety” as an excuse.
Secretly, he gave me sleeping pills mixed with antidepressants, then brought Nanman home. The glimpses I caught were dismissed as hallucinations.
I felt guilty, blaming my own mental state.
“Trey, did you ever love me?”
I looked into his eyes, searching for a hint of genuine affection.
He answered without hesitation, “Of course.”
He was a brilliant actor. A wasted talent as a doctor.
“Then what was the meat in the refrigerator that you never ate?”
The composure on his face finally cracked. His hand unconsciously clutched his clothes.
That package was what I’d found cleaning the fridge; a tiny, ornate box.
The lid read: To my dearest darling.
I almost threw it out, but Trey slapped me, roaring hysterically:
“Don’t touch my things!”
It was his first outburst, the first time I saw him so ferocious.
Later, I secretly asked a doctor friend. They told me it was placental tissue. Whose, was obvious.
I hadn’t expected his audacity; they even kept their dead child at home.
“It’s just… an artistic piece I appreciate as a doctor,” he said.
He paused, resuming his gentle demeanor.
“Let’s get married soon, okay? You always wanted to marry me.”
“Bring your mom back to the main hospital.”
“Don’t gamble with her health. You don’t have enough money to treat her.”
He acted like this was decided. I only had to obey.
I was about to refuse when a weak voice interrupted.
“Trey, are you two getting married?”
Nanman.
She stood at the doorway, frail and with broken eyes. Her vulnerability tugged at Trey’s heart; he hurried to her side.
“Why are you here? Go back and rest.”
Nanman’s tears fell.
“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have come. I just want to bless you.”
She spoke intermittently, her voice filled with grief and resentment.
Trey became more anxious. “You know…”
He hesitated, unable to finish the sentence because of me.
I didn’t want to witness this nauseating drama anymore and turned to leave.
Trey grabbed me, urgent. “Let’s get the license tomorrow.”
“I’m not going.”
I shook off his hand.
“Behave. I’ll pick you up tomorrow.”
His tone was commanding.
I tried to say something, but Nanman “conveniently” fainted.
Trey gasped, holding her and calling for a nurse. The room erupted into chaos. He didn’t even glance at me.
Only Nanman gave me a triumphant smile from Trey’s arms.
3.
My grandfather rushed my mother to City B; her surgery was scheduled for the day after tomorrow. She looked better in our video call, and I felt relieved.
I slept soundly, a stark contrast to the sleepless nights after her death in my past life. Insomnia and depression had plagued me, requiring medication to sleep.
I awoke to Trey’s face inches from mine, making me jump.
“How did you get in?”
He rolled his eyes, looking at me like I was an idiot.
I remembered he had a key to my place.
“Get up, we need to get our marriage license and visit your mom later.”
“I wonder how she is doing.”
Trey urged, seeming genuinely worried about my mother.
I frowned, not wanting to act anymore.
“In the past life, you intentionally botched my mother’s surgery and gave her kidney to Nanman, right?”
Trey’s face froze, then he adopted a pitiful expression.
“How could you think that of me? I love you so much, why would I hurt your mother?”
“Stop pretending. I heard you and your associate doctor.”
“You went to great lengths for Nanman.”
His expression changed several times before he gave up.
“Even if your mother’s surgery was successful, she wouldn’t live long. It’s better to give the kidney to Nanman.”
“Isn’t it better for Nanman to live on with her kidney?”
I burned with anger, gritting my teeth. “You’re shameless! Disgusting! Do you forget how good my mother was to you?”
Trey didn’t back down. “Didn’t I give you my life?”
“Without me, would you be living this comfortable life?”
“With that lousy job, you’d never live in a mansion!”
I yelled, eyes red. “I don’t need that!”
“I only want my mom alive! You murderer!”
I tried to get him out, but Nanman sat calmly on the living room sofa.
My anger flared. “Get out of my house!”
Nanman put down her teacup, looking pitiful.
“Shen Yan, don’t fight with Trey because of me. I know I’m not worthy of him…”
Trey stood in front of Nanman, pointing at me.
“Take it out on me, Nanman is innocent! Don’t bully her!”
Nanman hid behind him, provocatively raising her eyebrows at me, her eyes full of triumph.
“I won’t marry you. Now get out.”
Nanman innocently stepped forward. “Shen Yan, don’t be like this. I just want to witness Trey’s happiness.”
“After your warning, I’ve stopped pining for Trey.”
She was slandering me again. It wasn’t the first time. Trey always believed her.
Trey was furious, shoving me backwards.
“Yan, are you done yet?! You secretly warned Nanman!”
He was unexpectedly strong. I was defenseless; my head slammed hard against the wall calendar, a nail piercing my skull.
A sharp pain shot through me. I touched my head, my hands covered in blood.
Trey gasped, rushing over in a panic. “I… I didn’t mean to.”
I tried to call for help, collapsing weakly. “Help… me…”
Trey, being a surgeon, knew the severity.
He knelt, examining my wound. Then Nanman spoke.
“That’s a major hemorrhage, isn’t it? Shen Yan seems to be my blood type.”
“Our kidneys might match too. Maybe I can donate blood to her at the hospital.”
Trey stopped trying to help me.
His eyes flickered, as if considering something.
I looked at him in horror. A chill ran down my spine.
“Yan, since you won’t let me touch your mother’s kidney, give yours to Nanman.”
“I let you enjoy the good life in the past life, now it’s time for you to… repay me.”
