Living in the Shadow of the Sister

Chapter 1

The day I was born, my sister passed away.

Mom and Dad were convinced I was her reincarnation.

So they forced me to eat seafood I was allergic to, and when I ended up in the hospital, they declared, “Ashley loved seafood.”

On my birthday, they made me kneel in front of Ashley’s photo for hours, saying it was to teach me gratitude.

When a fever kept me from getting first place, they made me write dozens of pages of apologies in my own blood.

“Sarah, Ashley was always number one.”

They did everything they could to turn me into Ashley.

So, as they wished, I ended up dying on the side of the road, just like Ashley…

…

“Sarah, when are you going to be like Ashley? Don’t come home until you apologize to Tiffany.”

It was the dead of winter, and the snow falling outside was nothing compared to the ice in Mom’s text.

Tiffany is my cousin.

But Mom and Dad would rather believe her than listen to my explanation.

The corpse in the snow was stiff and twisted, the purplish fingers already frozen, still clutching the phone.

Looking at the glowing screen, a wave of pain washed over me, making me feel even more ridiculous.

Even in death, I was still hoping for some pity from Mom and Dad.

But they were still worried about Tiffany’s feelings, questioning why I wasn’t more like my dead sister.

It’s okay.

Since I couldn’t be like Ashley in life, maybe dying like her would finally make them happy.

…

The day I was born, my sister died unexpectedly.

Mom and Dad were convinced I was Ashley’s reincarnation, so they did everything they could to mold me into her image.

My sister was Ashley, like the moon, unattainable.

And I was Sarah, like a blank sheet of paper they could paint on, a substitute.

From childhood on, my every word and action was strictly controlled.

Whenever I didn’t do something the way they wanted, they would scold and humiliate me.

“Sarah, your life was given to you by Ashley, how can you do this to her?”

“Sarah, you ungrateful thing, Ashley would never do that!”

…

Again and again, they humiliated and pressured me, hoping to get back a daughter like Ashley.

But I wasn’t a blank sheet of paper.

I was a living, breathing person.

I couldn’t be like Ashley in every way, and I couldn’t be like Tiffany, who could naturally charm Mom and Dad.

Mom and Dad kept expressing their disappointment in me and praising Tiffany for the comfort she brought them.

And now I was dead, finally completely like Ashley.

Tiffany wouldn’t have to target me anymore, she could happily enjoy Mom and Dad’s affection.

Mom and Dad’s obsession of more than a decade had finally come true.

…

The snow was slowly burying my body.

This place was remote, and maybe no one would find my body for a month.

Lost in the cold wind, my body drifted involuntarily toward home.

Mom and Dad came through the door with Tiffany, carrying lots of bags.

The warmth that made you shiver slowly spread throughout your body, cutting you off from the cold wind and snow.

“The snow is so heavy this year.”

Mom hurried to brush the snow off Tiffany, looking worried.

“Tiffany’s clothes are wet, put on the new ones Auntie bought for you, so you don’t get cold.”

Dad turned on the air conditioning and brought Tiffany a cup of hot water.

“Have some hot water first, warm up.”

It was so intimate and warm, they looked like a real family.

Tiffany took the cup, glanced at the snow outside the window.

“I wonder how Sarah’s doing in this snow.”

My heart skipped a beat when she mentioned my name.

Mom and Dad, who had been so kind and gentle, suddenly changed their expressions.

Dad looked out the window with disgust and snorted coldly.

“Who cares what happens to her.”

“She tore up your test, because she was mad at you, how could anyone do that?”

Mom helped Tiffany take off her wet clothes, grumbling with her.

“Ashley would never do that.”

“I don’t know how such a good person as Ashley reincarnated into such a jinxed child.”

Hearing these words, the snow outside the house seemed to pass through the walls, piercing me completely.

My eyes were burning, and my heart ached as if it was tearing apart.

They were worried that the snow would make Tiffany catch a cold, but they didn’t care at all how I was supposed to survive in this cold.

They only cared if I was obedient and looked like Ashley.

I couldn’t help but take two steps back.

More than ten years had passed, and I was still just a substitute for Ashley in Mom and Dad’s eyes.

I had no name, and no one needed to care about me or take care of me.

Tiffany smiled smugly at Mom and Dad’s response.

She took Mom’s hand, playfully saying.

“I shouldn’t have mentioned Sarah, Auntie, don’t be mad.”

Mom stroked Tiffany’s head lovingly, deliberately pulling a face.

“When has Auntie ever been mad at you?”

Of course, she had never been mad at Tiffany.

Compared to me, Tiffany was more like the daughter she and Dad had spoiled and pampered.

Ten years ago, Tiffany’s mother died unexpectedly, and within a week she had a stepmother.

Mom was worried that she would be mistreated, so she talked to Dad and brought Tiffany back, saying it was to find a companion for me.

But it was more like a warning to me.

Whenever Mom and Dad were unhappy with me, they would punish me even more severely, and then treat Tiffany well in front of me.

They used this method to remind me that I couldn’t disobey them.

Tiffany, seeing Mom and Dad’s intentions, intensified her torment of me, using it to prove to Mom and Dad how different I was from Ashley and to make them dislike me.

I was allergic to seafood, but Ashley loved it.

Knowing this, Tiffany would always ask Mom and Dad to make seafood.

Mom and Dad knew I was allergic, but they made a table full of seafood and forced me to eat it.

“Ashley loved seafood, you should eat it too.”

I didn’t want to, I would rather eat white rice than seafood.

They threw my bowl on the floor, grabbed my hand and locked me in my room.

“How can you not eat what Ashley loved to eat?”

“If you don’t want to eat, then starve until you do.”

To make me obedient, they cut off the power to the room, even though they knew I was afraid of the dark.

In the dark night, hunger and fear intertwined, turning into the most terrifying monsters.

Prolonged hunger made my stomach change from restlessness to calm, and then it was a burning feeling and nausea.

There was nothing to eat in the room, so I had to go to the bathroom to drink tap water.

The cold water went down, but it didn’t relieve the hunger at all.

Waves of nausea rose from my stomach, and after I vomited the water, soft moonlight streamed in from the window, dispelling some of my fear.

I could hardly remember what happened that night.

Fear and nausea filled all my memories, and only the moonlight remained.

After that night, I knocked on the door and took the initiative to apologize to Mom and Dad.

Then, in front of Mom and Dad, I stuffed all the seafood on the table into my mouth.

Actually, you can’t binge eat after a long period of hunger, let alone seafood that I was allergic to.

But Mom and Dad didn’t care, they only cared if I was obedient.

Tiffany enjoyed watching me be miserable and wouldn’t try to stop me at all.

And I had no ability to resist.

I could only mechanically stuff seafood into my mouth, feeling the pain in my abdomen intensify.

My limbs were numb, and I couldn’t breathe as if hundreds of pounds of heavy objects were pressing on my chest, and finally I fell off the chair and lost consciousness completely.

When I woke up, I was in the hospital.

The doctor next to me was holding a medical record and blaming Mom and Dad.

“Didn’t you know she’s allergic to seafood?”

“How could you let her eat so much seafood?”

“Any later and something serious would have happened.”

Dad frowned and said unhappily.

“Ashley loved to eat seafood, she can eat anything.”

“I think she’s just acting up.”

Mom was even more disappointed.

“If something really happened, it would be her fate.”

“Ashley’s fine, she has to make such a fuss.”

The doctor was so angry at Mom and Dad’s words that he argued with them on the spot.

I lay in the hospital bed, warm tears streamed down my cheeks, becoming cold and unbearable.

How ridiculous.

A doctor I had just met was more worried about my safety than my own parents.

If something happened, it would be my fate.

But it was Ashley who wouldn’t have anything happen, not me.

Mom and Dad didn’t come to pick me up the day I was discharged from the hospital.

When I got home with lots of bags, the house was dark.

I was a little puzzled and casually turned on the light, but I was stunned.

Ribbons and lanterns decorated the whole house festively and lively.

The table was filled with all kinds of dishes that Tiffany loved to eat, and in the middle was a three-layer fancy cake.

Tiffany stood next to the table wearing a little crown, with her hands clasped together and her eyes closed, making a wish.

The three of them were startled by the sudden light and looked in my direction subconsciously.

Tiffany opened her mouth in dissatisfaction.

“Sarah, don’t you know you have to turn off the lights to make a wish?”

Mom stood aside, looking at me with disgust.

“Sarah, even if you resent us for forgetting to pick you up, you don’t have to ruin Tiffany’s birthday like this.”

“Ashley would never do this.”

I stood at the door, my head throbbing.

I was clearly recovering from a serious illness, but I was forced to stand at the door and listen to their criticism of me.

Everywhere I was less kind and generous than Ashley.

Everywhere I was vicious and selfish, unworthy of being human.

They never told me it was Tiffany’s birthday today.

My birthday is the day Ashley died.

That was the day Mom and Dad least wanted to remember in the year.

It was also the day I didn’t want to experience.

My birth that day branded me as Ashley’s reincarnation.

Every year on this day, I was forced to kneel in front of Ashley’s portrait, grateful that she allowed me to live.

Kneeling for more than ten hours made my knees ache for the next week.

I didn’t know that birthdays were celebrated with such elaborate arrangements.

There would be beautiful ribbons and lanterns, a fancy cake, and you would turn off the lights and make your expectations and wishes in the dark.

These surprises and wishes for birthdays would never belong to me, a substitute.

Just like now.

I watched Mom and Dad care for Tiffany, thinking vaguely.

So they could be so good to someone.

So they could be kind and caring, caring for others like the best parents in the world.

So they just didn’t care about me, they didn’t care about me.

I watched Dad walk into the kitchen, and then followed Mom into Tiffany’s room.

Tiffany’s room was her favorite pink, and every part of the room was decorated according to her favorite style.

My room was different.

Mom and Dad were convinced that I was Ashley’s reincarnation, but they didn’t want me to live in Ashley’s room.

So they copied Ashley’s room and made an exact replica for me to live in, not allowing me to change a single thing.

My preferences were completely different from Ashley’s.

Every time I entered the room, it reminded me.

I was just Ashley’s substitute, an unimportant, disposable substitute.

Even my clothes, Tiffany could freely choose everything she liked.

But I had to wear Ashley’s old clothes, dressing myself in Ashley’s favorite style.

More than ten years had passed, and the styles of those clothes were outdated and dilapidated.

But every time Mom found a piece of damage, she would whip me hard with a stick.

“This is Ashley’s clothes, can’t you be more careful!”

“If it weren’t for Ashley, you wouldn’t be here, how dare you damage her clothes?”

I explained in every way, but Mom was convinced that it was my excuse, and she would always lock me up and starve me for a few meals to vent her anger.

Over time, I could only force myself to like everything about Ashley.

But every time I agreed with Mom and Dad, a voice in my heart kept shouting.

“That’s not me.”

“That’s not Sarah, that’s Ashley.”

But watching Mom constantly ask Tiffany for her opinion, I was shocked.

In fact, Tiffany was Ashley, she could freely choose everything she wanted, and she could get Mom and Dad’s love and affection.

And I was just a shell named Sarah.

I watched numbly as Mom helped Tiffany change into new clothes, and then walked hand in hand with them to the restaurant like mother and daughter.

The food had been prepared on the table.

Tiffany sat down happily, unable to help but smile at Dad and say.

“There’s my favorite spicy chicken, thank you Uncle.”

Dad looked at Tiffany lovingly, and Mom also opened her mouth.

“Eat more if you like it.”

“You’ve lost weight.”

Tiffany was about to open her mouth when she saw the braised shrimp and spicy crab on the table and couldn’t help but ask.

“Is this for Sarah?”

Dad was stunned for a moment, and then said with disgust.

“She’s being stubborn, she’s not willing to admit her mistake yet, it’s a waste to make it.”

“None of us like to eat this, let’s just throw it away later.”

I looked at the braised shrimp and spicy crab on the table and couldn’t help but smile bitterly.

Admit her mistake?

What for?

To eat these seafood that would make me allergic, and then go to the hospital again or die?

They could choose not to eat if they didn’t want to, but I had to do exactly what they wanted.

Am I really their biological daughter?

I watched them finish the meal warmly, and then turned on the TV and chatted with each other like ordinary people.

No one cared where I went, it seemed that I shouldn’t exist.

I watched them laughing and playing, my eyes falling on the photos on the wall.

Mom and Dad were wearing red clothes, Tiffany was holding Ashley’s portrait and standing in the middle of Mom and Dad, with an unstoppable smile on her face.

This was the family’s family portrait, but there was no trace of me.

This photo was suggested by Tiffany.

At first, Tiffany’s father came home and wanted to take her back.

Tiffany cried and shouted that she didn’t want to, but that was her biological father, and Mom and Dad couldn’t do anything.

In the end, Tiffany agreed to go back, but her only wish was to take a picture with us.

Mom and Dad couldn’t bear to refuse and agreed.

Who would have thought that Tiffany would lock me in the room while I wasn’t paying attention, and then fabricate that I was sulking and didn’t want to take pictures with her, so I wouldn’t come down.

Mom and Dad believed her and scolded me again for not being as sensible as Ashley.

After taking the picture, Mom and Dad forced me to kneel in front of Ashley’s portrait and reflect.

“Tiffany’s leaving, why are you still sulking with her?”

“Can’t you be as generous as Ashley?”

“Sarah, do you hate Tiffany so much?”

I explained many times.

I didn’t hate Tiffany, and I wasn’t sulking.

I was just locked in the room by her, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to take pictures with her.

But Mom and Dad wouldn’t believe me, they bought a lot of things for Tiffany in the name of compensation.

Those things that I had begged for in vain were sent into Tiffany’s room like running water.

In the end, Mom and Dad changed their minds temporarily.

They used $500000 to “buy” Tiffany back.

In this absurd farce, only my knees were damaged and I lay in bed for three days.

Even the family portrait that originally had me was replaced.

“You are Ashley, as long as Ashley is there.”

Mom’s light words made me lose the strength to defend myself.

I never thought that in the end, even appearing in a family portrait would be a luxury.

But perhaps this family portrait was also showing our fate.

Mom and Dad only had Ashley in their hearts, and Tiffany joined our family.

Only me, came alone and left alone, with no one to miss or save me.

As I watched, tears seemed to be about to flow again.

I tilted my head back and blinked, turning my head away and not wanting to look at their harmony.

But God didn’t seem willing to let me go.

Halfway through the TV show, Tiffany suddenly grabbed Mom’s hand and said.

“Auntie, my friend’s birthday is in a couple of days.”

“Can you give me some money to buy her a gift?”

Mom patted Tiffany’s hand and nodded.

“Of course, I can.”

“Tiffany has a lot of friends, which will be convenient in the future.”

“Unlike Sarah, who has a gloomy face all day long and doesn’t even have a friend.”

Dad turned his head back and said unhappily.

“Why are you talking about that one who doesn’t save you any trouble?”

“She can’t learn half of Ashley’s ease, she just knows how to make us angry all day long.”

“Don’t think about it, if it wasn’t for Ashley, there wouldn’t be her.”

I listened to Mom and Dad’s accusations one after another, every sentence was my fault.

But they forgot that it wasn’t that I didn’t want to make friends.

I simply didn’t have the time to make friends, and I didn’t dare to make friends.