Love of Yesterday

Chapter 1

Jason Walker was an orphan my dad sponsored, and I fell for him the moment I saw him.

I dated him for seven years, despite my family’s disapproval.

My dad even threatened to disown me.

Then, one day, he finally agreed to let us get married.

As we were exchanging rings, a girl in a white dress, looking all innocent, burst into the ceremony.

She just stared at Jason, tears streaming down her face.

And then, he ran.

Later, I found out the girl was his childhood sweetheart from the orphanage.

Jason, eyes red, desperately tried to explain, “Sarah, Olivia is like family. She’s the only family I’ve ever known.”

“She’s just gotten out of an abusive marriage, please, just give me some time to help her, okay?”

I watched him, tears blurring my vision, my heart a block of ice, but I said, “Okay.”

Jason took care of her and her son, like they were the real family.

But the truth was, my dad only agreed to the wedding after I told him two secrets.

One, I was pregnant.

Two, I was dying.

1.

After seven years with Jason, I was finally having our wedding.

But just ten minutes ago…

He ran.

“Please exchange rings!” the officiant announced.

I forced a smile, my hand trembling as I took out the ring, then reached for Jason’s hand, my eyes full of love.

This man, in his suit, was my first love.

Seven years ago, Jason first came to our house to visit my dad, his sponsor. I was coming back from dance practice, sweaty and tired.

As I walked into the living room, I saw him sitting on the couch, in a white shirt, looking cool and collected.

He turned to me, slow and deliberate, and smiled slightly.

And that was it. I fell in love.

It turned out we went to the same college. After a while, I started dating him, despite my family’s objections.

Seven years, through thick and thin, he became a part of me I couldn’t imagine living without.

But just now, as I slid the ring onto his finger, a girl in a white dress, looking pure and innocent, rushed into the room.

“Jason!”

She stood there, eyes red and swollen, tears running down her face. Her arms were covered in bruises.

That one word made Jason pull his hand back.

The ring, halfway on his finger, clattered to the floor.

Everyone stared at the girl, shocked. I just stared at Jason, bewildered.

For the first time, I saw real pain in his eyes.

After a moment, the girl just cried, didn’t say anything else.

My heart ached. I reached for Jason’s hand, but the girl sobbed and ran out of the room.

“Olivia!”

Jason yelled,甩ing off my hand and jumping off the stage after her.

I stumbled and fell to the floor.

The room erupted in chaos. Whispers and laughter filled the air.

But I just sat there, numb, staring at the ring on the floor.

Discarded, just like me.

Time to wake up from this dream.

–

The sky was completely dark when Jason came back.

I was still in my wedding dress, tears dried on my face.

The girl from the ceremony was standing next to him.

I walked towards Jason, feeling like a zombie.

“Jason…”

*Slap!* I hit him hard across the face.

He turned his head, stunned. The girl yelled, “How dare you hit him?!”

She lunged at me, but Jason stopped her.

“Olivia, stop it.” He turned back to me, eyes red, “Sarah, let me explain.”

“Her name is Olivia Carter. We grew up together at the orphanage. She’s the closest thing to family I have.”

“She’s just gotten divorced. Her husband abused her. Please, just give me some time to help her and her son, okay?”

“I know you’re angry, but I can’t just abandon her.”

He was pleading with me, as if *I* was the one keeping them apart.

He didn’t even seem to realize that today was supposed to be our wedding day.

I remembered how happy he was when I told him my dad had finally agreed. He’d picked me up, spun me around, and cried tears of joy. “Sarah, I can finally marry you!”

“I’ve waited seven years for this…”

I’d clung to him, tears streaming down my own face.

Jason didn’t know that my dad had only agreed after I told him two secrets.

One, I was pregnant.

And two, I was dying.

Back to reality.

He was still talking, rambling on about making it up to me, promising a bigger, better wedding later…

“Okay,” I said softly, cutting him off, a fake smile plastered on my face.

He stopped, stared at me for a moment, then pulled me into a tight hug. “I knew you’d understand.”

2.

A month ago, I collapsed at work.

At the hospital, the doctor gave me two pieces of news.

“Ms. Miller, congratulations, you’re a month pregnant.”

“However, we’ve also discovered you have advanced stomach cancer. I recommend terminating the pregnancy and beginning treatment immediately…”

It felt like a nightmare. I thought I’d misheard.

But when I saw the two test results, reality hit.

I hadn’t misheard.

I was dying.

I sat in the hospital hallway all afternoon.

I made two decisions. One, I would keep the baby.

Jason had always talked about wanting kids, a family. He didn’t want to be alone anymore.

Two, I would tell my dad everything, tell him I wanted to marry Jason, even if it was just to fulfill a dream.

My dad, almost sixty, cried like a child when I told him I was dying. “Sarah… what am I going to do without you?”

I cried with him, unable to comfort him.

Burying your own child. No parent should have to go through that.

But even facing death, my first thought was of Jason.

–

Jason worked as a lawyer, didn’t make a lot of money.

But he still spent two-thirds of his salary on a nice apartment for Olivia and her son, Connor.

“You won’t believe how attached Connor is to me. He wouldn’t let go of my arm!” Jason said excitedly when he came back from helping them move.

He wiped his forehead and hugged me gently. “Sarah, I wish we had a kid of our own.”

I laughed flatly, pushing him away. “You do,” I said casually, “I’m carrying one.”

He froze, staring at me in disbelief.

Then, “Really? You’re not kidding?”

“Sarah, are we really having a baby?!”

His excitement was genuine. He really wanted this.

Before, I would’ve told him the truth, hidden my illness, and tried to have this baby, no matter the cost.

But now… I didn’t want to tell him.

“Just kidding,” I said.

The disappointment on his face was clear, but he still wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder. “It’s okay. It’ll happen eventually.”

I smiled faintly, silent.

That night, I had a high fever. I ached all over.

But Jason slept soundly, oblivious to my suffering.

Before, even if I just breathed a little heavily, he’d ask if I was having a nightmare.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I threw off the covers and locked myself in the bathroom.

And that’s when Jason’s phone rang. I heard him say, panicked, “Okay, I’ll be right there.”

“Don’t cry… Don’t worry…”

He got out of bed, knocked on the bathroom door.

“Sarah, are you okay? Stomach cramps?”

“Remember to take some medicine. Olivia said Connor has a high fever. I have to go.”

“Don’t wait up.” And he was gone.

I collapsed on the bathroom floor, drenched in sweat, my hair plastered to my pale face.

I curled up in a ball, biting my lip to hold back the waves of pain…

I stared blankly ahead, tears falling onto the tile floor.

“Jason… it hurts…”

“Why… are you… leaving me…?”

3.

My dad found out about Jason and me during my sophomore year of college.

He was furious. It was the first time he’d ever yelled at me.

“Sarah Miller! He’s not good enough for you! You’re not to see him again!”

I refused to listen. We had a huge fight, and he grounded me.

When Jason found out, he knelt outside our house in the pouring rain for a day and a night, until he collapsed and was carried inside.

Weakly, he said to my dad, “Mr. Miller, I truly love Sarah.”

“I swear, I’ll always treat her right. I’d give my life for her. I will never hurt her.”

My dad just sighed.

He never tried to stop us again.

After graduation, Jason got a job at a law firm. I remember his first paycheck – eight thousand dollars.

He bought me a necklace for seventy-five hundred.

“You’re crazy! Take it back!” I wasn’t happy, I was angry. He needed to be more responsible.

He smiled, put the necklace on me. “Sarah, it’s been four years, and I haven’t gotten you anything decent.”

“You deserve the best. Now that I’m earning money, I’ll buy you even nicer things.” He touched my face, eyes shimmering. “I want to give you the best life possible.”

“So I don’t let you down.”

And he kept his promise. Within two years, he’d put a down payment on an apartment in Chicago and bought a car outright.

He worked night and day for it, because, he said, “We need a place of our own.”

–

Jason didn’t come home that night. At dawn, I got a text.

“Connor’s in the hospital. I stayed with them last night.”

“I’m going straight to work. I’ll make you sweet and sour pork when I get back.”

I stared at the message, didn’t reply.

Since Olivia and Connor showed up, I’d been wondering if I was being too sensitive.

Jason said they were from the same orphanage. Olivia had worked herself sick to support him.

He insisted they were just like siblings.

“Sarah, you’re the one I love.”

“Don’t you know that after all these years?”

Yes, seven years wasn’t nothing. My dad asked why just a wedding ceremony was enough for me.

Tears in my eyes, I’d smiled and said, “I’m dying. A marriage license doesn’t mean anything.”

“I don’t want him tied to me forever.”

“I want him to find someone else, be happy.”

But I was lying. I was terrified of dying.

And even more terrified of Jason forgetting me.

4.

I fell asleep on the couch, woke up to the smell of food.

I opened my eyes. The apartment was dark, except for the kitchen.

There was a blanket over me. Jason must’ve put it there.

He came out of the kitchen with a plate of sweet and sour pork. “You’re awake! Wash your hands, dinner’s ready.”

“Why is it so dark?” I asked, walking towards the dining table.

Jason, still in his apron, was busy packing food into containers. “You were sleeping so peacefully, I didn’t want to wake you.”

I remembered last winter. He’d said he’d be working late.

I fell asleep. Woke up in the middle of the night, he wasn’t there. I called, no answer.

Panicked, I didn’t even grab a coat before rushing out to look for him.

I opened the door to find him asleep, slumped against the wall outside.

He woke up, rubbing his back, and smiled sheepishly. “I forgot my key. Didn’t want to wake you, so I… fell asleep.”

Later, I found out he’d been doing that because I’d been working late myself, barely sleeping.

He didn’t want to disturb me.

Back to the present.

The food looked and smelled amazing, but I had no appetite. The doctor said most people with stomach cancer essentially starve to death.

“Eat up, before it gets cold,” Jason said, still packing the food.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Olivia’s still at the hospital with Connor. They haven’t eaten either. I’m taking them some.”

My hand tightened around my chopsticks. A sharp pain stabbed at my heart.

“Jason,” I said, my voice tight, “are you absolutely sure there’s nothing more between you and Olivia? Just… sibling stuff?” I looked at his tired face, he hadn’t slept in over a day.

He stopped, looked at me, his expression hardening.

“Sarah, how many times do I have to tell you? Olivia’s like a sister to me.”

“I don’t want to hear this again. You’re being unreasonable.” He picked up the containers and headed for the door.

I trembled, tears welling up. “Jason!”

He stopped, but didn’t turn around.

“Do you really have to go right now?”

Olivia wasn’t a child. She could order takeout. There were restaurants near the hospital.

Maybe Jason hadn’t even realized it himself, but ever since she’d appeared, his attention had been completely focused on her and Connor.

The door slammed shut. He left.

I closed my eyes, tears flowing freely.

5.

Like a fool, I followed him to the hospital.

He parked, and I saw Olivia standing outside in the cold. She smiled when she saw him, ran over, and took his arm.

They went inside, talking and laughing.

A wave of nausea washed over me. I followed them, my heart aching.

“This is so good, Uncle Jason!”

Inside the hospital room, Connor was praising Jason’s cooking. I peeked through the window in the door and saw them standing side by side, smiling at Connor.

Olivia turned to him, her voice soft. “Jason, thank you for taking care of us, but… I’m sure Sarah’s going to be upset.”

Jason was silent.

Olivia’s eyes filled with tears. She leaned on his shoulder, her voice choked with emotion. “But you’re all I have.”

“I regret everything. Marrying him. Leaving you because you were with Sarah.”

“Jason, I know you still care about me, but… I don’t deserve you…”

“Don’t say that.” Jason cut her off. He took a deep breath and looked at her. “I’ll always be there for you and Connor.”

“Sarah’s alone at home. I should get back.”

He turned to leave, but Olivia grabbed him from behind.

She sobbed, “Don’t go…”

My fists clenched. My chest ached, I could barely breathe.

I pushed the door open.

Jason looked startled, almost panicked, when he saw me. He pulled away from Olivia and rushed over.

“Sarah… It’s not what it looks like. Let me explain.”

Olivia suddenly screamed, “Jason! You’re going to tell me that after all we’ve been through, you only see me as a sister?!”

“Swear to me you’ve never had feelings for me!”

“…”

He didn’t answer. Silence was the answer.

Connor, seeing his mother upset, jumped out of bed, eyes red, and stood in front of her, glaring at me. “You’re a bad lady! Mommy said Uncle Jason’s gonna be my daddy!”

“You can’t have him!”

Olivia’s face paled. She covered Connor’s mouth.

I laughed, a bitter, tearful sound. I looked at Jason. “Is that what you think too? Is that why you’re taking care of them?”

“Jason, is she just your… sister? Or is she the one that got away?”

Jason looked flustered. “Sarah, I… I admit, I had feelings for Olivia, a long time ago. But that’s in the past.”

“I’m taking care of them now because…”

“Enough!” I yelled, tears streaming down my face. I laughed again, a hollow sound. “It doesn’t matter why. You’re free to take care of them now.”

He frowned, confused. “What?”

I wiped my tears.

“Jason, we’re done.”

“The moment you left me at the altar, it was over.”