Suffocating Love

Chapter 1

So, we’re at this party, right? And my fiancée, Brittany, gets picked for Truth or Dare.

Figures.

She stares at her old high school crush, Chad, eyes all watery, and asks, “If it weren’t for you know, me and you, would we have ended up together?”

The whole damn room goes silent.

Everyone’s gawking at me.

They’re waiting for me to lose my mind, I guess.

But I honestly don’t even care. I just wanna get out of there.

I decide to stir the pot.

“Since you’re so hung up on him,” I say, cool as a cucumber, “why don’t you just get a room with him tonight?”

1.

Brittany, bless her heart, doesn’t even catch the sarcasm.

She gets all excited and asks, “Really, Mike? You mean it? If you’re okay with it, I’ll book a room right now…”

Suddenly, I feel like a total joke.

I’ve been with Brittany for years, and she’s always done whatever she wants, never giving a damn about how I feel.

Right then and there, I realized that this relationship was a waste of time.

The vibe in that room just tanked.

Some dude pats me on the back, all awkward, and says I’m a saint. What a loser.

So, all my being easy-going is what led her friends to think?

“I don’t know, Britt… You’re Mike’s girl. I can’t just do that,” Chad says, looking all conflicted but with this smug look in his eyes he couldn’t hide.

I freaking hate that guy.

He just randomly came back from overseas for the wedding, like it was some sort of game.

Later, I find out a friend of Brittany’s and mine sent me a screenshot of Brittany’s private Instagram.

She warned me to watch out so I don’t end up being a cuck.

The post said, “Getting married… so indecisive.”

I checked Brittany’s Instagram, and of course, I can’t see it.

All I see is, “Getting married! So happy.”

Now that I think about it, Chad coming back at the last minute was probably because of that post.

I grab my beer and chug it.

“You guys have fun,” I say. “I’m outta here.” I look at Sarah, who’s wasted, and say, “The wedding’s off.”

“Mike, are you serious? You can’t even take a joke?”

Brittany thinks I’m pissed.

I would have been furious before, but today, I don’t really care.

Not getting married sounds pretty good, if you ask me.

I call a Lyft and head back to the house Brittany and I are supposed to share.

Looking at this house, that I spent months remodeling, I feel a pang of something I can’t really describe.

All that work, all that effort, and for nothing.

Around 2 AM, Brittany gets home, and I spend the whole night tossing and turning.

I feel her come into the bedroom, but then she leaves.

I get up to see what’s going on, and she’s just grabbing a pillow.

She’s sleeping in the guest room.

I stayed awake all night.

2.

Ever since that night, Brittany and I have been in a cold war.

She’s coming home later and later.

At first, it was just an hour or two, but lately, she hasn’t even been coming home at all.

If this was before, I’d be out of my mind looking for her.

She always pulls this disappearing act when we fight.

I’ve even skipped work to find her, and my boss has yelled at me for it.

Every time I can’t find her, I imagine her with some other dude.

I get jealous, and it drives me crazy.

But this time, I’m just…over it.

I actually like being alone.

A few days later, I see a Maybach parked by the back gate of our community.

I saw some blonde bombshell get out of it.

I had to take a second look, and I realized it was Brittany.

I remember that Maybach because there are only like, three of them in the whole city, and one of them belongs to Chad.

Brittany sees me too, and she looks embarrassed for a second, but she quickly recovers.

She tries to explain. “Mike, I ran into Chad after work, and he offered me a ride.”

I don’t say anything. I just give her this look and start to walk away.

Then, Chad’s voice comes from the car, all cocky.

“Mike, didn’t you say you were going to buy Brittany a fancy car to drive her to work? Where is it?”

Brittany looks embarrassed again. She obviously didn’t expect Chad to say that.

Chad always tries to make me feel bad in front of her. He used to do it all the time.

The reason he asked that is because of something that happened a while back.

When Brittany and I first started dating, I saw her getting out of Chad’s car and got really jealous.

I yelled at Chad and promised I’d buy Brittany a car myself someday.

Looking back, I don’t even know why I got so jealous.

All they know is that I have a dinky little electric scooter for commuting.

The truth is, I already ordered a BMW.

I was going to give it to Brittany as a wedding gift, but there’s no point now.

So I just smile and say, “I can’t compete with you, man. Guess Brittany is your problem now.”

I act like Chad is her knight in shining armor.

Brittany is not happy with my attitude. She frowns and says, “Mike, what’s up with you lately?”

I know she’s testing me, but I don’t say anything.

I don’t want to argue about Chad anymore. I don’t want to fight over her sense of superiority.

I turn around and head home, ignoring Brittany’s questions.

Surprisingly, she follows me.

She always picks Chad over me to piss me off.

But today, she decides to come home with me.

I walk through the door, and Brittany follows me in.

3.

“Have you really decided to call off the wedding?”

Brittany has been holding that question in all night, and she blurts it out as soon as she crosses the threshold.

“I’m still thinking about it.” I try to sound unsure.

It’s not a lie. I’m actually still debating this.

I’ve seen things pretty clearly, however, both sets of parents have been informed, and I don’t know how to tell them I’m having second thoughts.

“I made a joke the other night, but you had to announce you were calling things off in front of everyone. Now you act like you’re the victim?” Brittany’s voice gets louder, and she’s obviously upset.

She clearly doesn’t get what I’m really thinking.

It’s not a sudden thing, I’ve been feeling like this for a while now.

“I think we both need to calm down and rethink this. Weren’t you having second thoughts, too?” I try to steer the conversation toward something logical.

Brittany’s face turns pale, and she looks kind of lost. “I never said that.” She doesn’t want to address the situation.

But I don’t want to rush into anything. Marriage isn’t a game. You can’t just start and stop whenever you want.

“If you’d rather be with Chad, and that’s what you want, I’ll respect your decision.” After I say that, I go into the bedroom and quietly close the door.

Late at night, I go out to wash up, and I realize Brittany is gone.

She hasn’t come home for three nights, but I’m done trying to figure out where she is.

Ever since Brittany and I started dating, she’s been the center of my world.

I even found a job close to home with stable hours just to spend more time with her.

I’ve always felt a little insecure around her and afraid of losing her, so I’ve always wanted to be by her side.

Maybe that’s how people are. You never cherish the things you get too easily.

I sit down at my computer and go on a job site.

If I hadn’t been so focused on my relationship, I could easily be making six figures.

I almost got a job at a big company with a great salary and a bright future, but I thought it might put too much distance between Brittany and me, and she might leave me. So, I turned it down.

I thought we’d be together forever, but now we’re here.

My phone buzzes. It’s a message in a group chat.

I open it, and it’s a video.

In the video, a guy and a girl are hugging and kissing.

Their tongues are all over each other, and the woman is moaning.

It’s too dark to see their faces at first, so I take a screenshot and zoom in.

When I see the guy’s face, I freeze. It’s Chad.

The girl has her back to the camera, but I know her clothes.

It’s the limited-edition dress I gave Brittany last year for Valentine’s Day. There are only two of them in the whole state.

That dress cost me two months’ salary, but I never regretted spending money on her.

I was so happy back then, and I just wanted to see her smile.

Now, she’s wearing the dress I gave her and making out with some other guy.

The group chat is going crazy.