The Sorrow of Reincarnation

Chapter 1

The night before my wedding to the stoic, almost monk-like, Ethan, I accidentally killed his sister, Grace.

He signed the release form without expression, and we got married as planned.

That night, he ravaged me.

Then, he used every connection he had to bankrupt my family.

My parents, desperate and heartbroken, jumped from a building right before my eyes.

My little brother was kidnapped and taken overseas by debt collectors.

I knelt at the entrance of Ethan’s company, begging him for my brother’s life.

He grabbed my neck, his eyes ice cold.

“You killed my sister, and caused my parents to die from depression. I signed that release form just for this day!”

“I’ll make you watch your loved ones die, helpless to do anything!”

“You owe me, and you’ll pay with blood!”

For ten years of our marriage, he humiliated me in every way imaginable.

I endured it all, but received no mercy.

Eight months pregnant, he ran me off the road, causing a miscarriage, all because of a joke his mistress made.

Blood-soaked, I rushed to Grace’s grave after the surgery.

I knelt before her tombstone, sobbing uncontrollably.

“Keeping your secret was too hard. Our ten-year pact is over, and I’m coming to join you!”

I scheduled a sky burial for myself.

But on the day of my death, he knelt before me, terrified, begging me not to leave him.

1.

Ethan burst into my hospital room just after I’d scheduled my sky burial for seven days later.

His eyes were filled with fury. Before I could speak, he slapped me hard across the face.

“I told you Grace was innocent! Who gave you the nerve to bother her?!”

I was still recovering from surgery.

The slap knocked me off my feet. I fell to the floor, my mouth bleeding.

His strength was immense.

But I barely noticed the pain. I just knelt at his feet, my face ashen.

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.”

A sharp pain ripped through my abdomen.

My insides felt like they were twisting. I coughed up a mouthful of blood.

Ethan’s expression changed; he instinctively reached for me.

But as his fingers brushed my skin, he seemed to remember something and shoved me away.

Disgust flashed in his eyes.

“I warned you, Grace is my life. Don’t touch her!”

“Next time, it won’t be just a miscarriage!”

That intimate term, “Grace,” sent a shiver down my spine.

Over the past ten years, he’d been with countless women.

But he only ever cared for one, Grace.

Only because she had the same name as his sister.

His sister, who was my best friend. If not for that accident ten years ago, we would have been the closest of family.

The thought shattered my heart, leaving me breathless.

I lowered my eyes, my voice choked with sobs.

“I’m sorry, whatever happened to Grace… it’s all my fault…”

Before I could finish, Ethan grabbed my throat, his eyes filled with raw pain.

His fingers tightened, his gaze intense.

“You have no right to say her name!”

“If it weren’t for you, for your cruelty! She should be alive!”

“You don’t deserve to say her name, you don’t even deserve to die for her!”

I closed my eyes, letting tears fall.

He was right, I didn’t deserve to die for her.

But I didn’t kill her!

Ethan had questioned me countless times over the past decade.

Why did I run over Grace?

But I couldn’t speak.

I couldn’t tell him that his sister, after being drugged and assaulted, managed to send me her location.

When I arrived, it was too late.

Desperate, she ran into my car.

I slammed on the brakes, and she knelt, begging.

She begged me to protect her reputation, to give her peace.

Knowing her pride, I knew she couldn’t bear the shame.

Seeing her plead,

I gave in. With trembling hands, I pressed the accelerator.

I kept her secret, as she’d asked.

For that, I lost my entire family.

And my child, who never even had a chance to be born.

Now, this excruciating pain…

I couldn’t bear it anymore!

2.

My wounds reopened, blood flowing.

I gasped, a moan escaping my lips.

A flicker of pity crossed Ethan’s eyes.

He hesitated, then reached for me.

But then, Olivia walked in, stopping him.

I pushed down any foolish hope, biting my lip.

Between Ethan and me was a sea of hatred.

It couldn’t be bridged with a simple step.

Olivia glared at me, then threw herself into Ethan’s arms.

She held up her bandaged arm, crying dramatically.

“Ethan, Rachel hurt my arm because she lost her baby, don’t blame her!”

Ethan’s heart softened at the word “Ethan.”

I closed my eyes, resigning myself.

Since meeting Olivia, he’d never believed me.

On our first night together, she fell down the stairs, covered in blood, claiming I’d pushed her.

Ignoring my denials, he dragged me down the stairs too.

I broke my leg and several ribs.

I spent a month in the hospital.

Afterward, I avoided Olivia, but it was no use.

She claimed I’d poisoned her food, making her sick.

Ethan locked me in the basement until I was near death.

Three days ago, Olivia burst into the temple with a voodoo doll.

She sobbed, claiming I wanted to prevent her from getting pregnant so she wouldn’t compete with me.

Ethan didn’t even ask me, instead, running me off the road.

I lay in a pool of blood, begging him to save our baby.

He said I was faking it to get sympathy.

By the time I reached the hospital, my baby was gone.

I was barely alive.

The loss of my child broke me.

I looked at Ethan’s cold face.

He was the man I loved deeply, the man I would have died for.

Countless times over the past ten years, I’d been on the verge of telling the truth.

But I was afraid.

I was afraid he wouldn’t be able to handle the truth.

He was alone; he needed a reason to live, even if it was fueled by hate.

I had decided to die; my eyes held only emptiness.

Noticing my state, Ethan opened his mouth to speak.

But Olivia’s cries of “Ethan” stole his attention.

His eyes turned cold.

“Don’t think you can get away with this!”

“When you get home, go to the basement!”

“If you ever hurt Olivia again, I’ll make you suffer!”

I smiled sadly; tears streamed down my face.

He knew I’d been bullied.

I had severe claustrophobia.

My bullies would lock me in tiny spaces.

I would scream until I passed out from lack of oxygen.

Ethan rescued me once.

He knelt, vowing never to let me be hurt again.

Yet, for Olivia, he made me relive my nightmares.

I watched him leave, silent.

Ethan, it’s over.

We’re done.

3.

Ethan didn’t visit me for the next few days.

I wasn’t upset, only sad I couldn’t say goodbye properly.

The man who’d consumed my youth had caused me immense pain.

He refused to let doctors treat me; my wounds festered.

Even the slightest movement caused bleeding.

I endured the agony, scrolling through Ethan’s social media.

In every picture, Olivia was clinging to him, covered in love bites.

They looked like lovers who’d been together forever.

Just like us, once.

Each picture felt like a knife twisting in my heart.

Yet, every morning, he’d text me.

Asking if I’d eaten.

Telling me to reflect and apologize to Olivia, promising to arrange for doctors.

I didn’t reply. I just waited for the end.

Seven days later was my child’s memorial.

Afterward, I’d have no reason to live.

Finally, the day arrived. I cleaned myself, hoping to maintain some dignity in death.

A nurse rushed in.

“Rachel, Ethan and Olivia are at the morgue, saying your child’s spirit is angry!”

“They’re trying to banish the ghost! After death, to be treated like that, it’s awful!”

I shoved her aside, running to the morgue.

My blood ran cold. My tears flowed.

I was about to die; I wouldn’t be in their way any longer.

Why couldn’t they leave my dead child alone?

They were beating his body with wooden swords.

I screamed, bursting into tears:

“Stop! He’s dead! What right do you have?!”

Pain flickered in Ethan’s eyes.

He pulled me away, holding me close.

I struggled, clutching his shirt, crying hysterically.

“Ethan, that’s our child! How could you be so cruel?!”

“What did he do wrong? Why are you doing this to him?!”

“Please, stop hurting him! I’ll give you my life, just stop!”

After ten years, he cried for the first time in front of me.

But he covered my eyes, his voice soft.

“Rachel, be quiet!”

“Olivia’s pregnant. She’s having nightmares. A spiritual advisor said our child’s spirit is restless.”

“If we don’t appease it, Olivia will lose the baby.”

“I’ve already lost our child, I can’t lose Olivia’s too!”

My vision blurred, I coughed up blood.

Ethan didn’t flinch; he held me tighter.

He was scratched and bleeding, but his face was buried in my neck.

His voice was hoarse:

“Rachel, forgive me, I can’t hurt Olivia, only you. It’s what we owe her!”

I calmed down.

I looked at him, stunned.

Finally, I forced a bitter smile.

“Okay, I don’t blame you. Please, let me go.”

Seeing the despair in my eyes, Ethan hesitated.

He stammered, pleading with me.

“Rachel, where are you going?”

“You owe me. You can’t leave!”

I was about to speak when Olivia screamed, clutching her stomach.

“Ethan, it hurts! Save our baby!”

Ethan’s brow furrowed.

His eyes grew cold.

“The advisor said to destroy it!”

I watched as he took out a bottle of sulfuric acid, handing it to someone.

Holding Olivia, he looked at me with regret.

“Rachel, I promise, this is the end. We’re even.”

“I won’t bother you again, but I won’t let you leave. You’ll spend your life atoning!”

He closed his eyes, avoiding my gaze, coldly ordering:

“Do it!”

“No! Don’t hurt him!”

A wail escaped my throat. I lunged forward.

But I was too late.

The acid burned my skin.

Ignoring the pain, I protected my child.

Ethan ordered me to be restrained.

My fingers bled as I scratched the floor, but I couldn’t stop them.

I watched in despair.

After the acid was thrown, Ethan didn’t look at me. He carried Olivia away.

I trembled, holding the tiny bones. I was numb, unable to cry.

When the nurse arrived, I was filled with despair.

My child was taken away. I left the hospital like a zombie.

Ethan’s texts kept coming.

My scheduled car was waiting outside.

It would take me to my sky burial.

Knowing this would erase my existence, I hurried.

But someone grabbed me from behind, covering my mouth and nose.

Before I could struggle, I fainted.

4.

In my haze, memories flooded back.

Ethan and Grace, holding my hand, promising forever.

If not for the nightmare ten years ago, would our ending be different?

The memories were too beautiful; I didn’t want to wake up.

But it was all a dream.

When I opened my eyes, I was in Ethan’s temple.

Seeing me awake, he scoffed, forcing me to kneel before the Buddha statue.

In the dim candlelight, I couldn’t see his face.

But I sensed something in his eyes.

“Rachel, who’s picking you up?”

“You’re running away so fast; you found someone else, didn’t you?”

I pressed my lips together, smiling bitterly.

The usually stoic Ethan was enraged, his voice hoarse.

“Rachel, I won’t let you leave. Even in death, you die by my side!”

“From today, you stay here until you give up on running off with another man!”

Ethan locked me in the temple.

I knelt, never looking up.

I didn’t even notice Olivia enter.

She threw a bucket of gasoline at my feet, taunting me.

“Rachel, don’t you want to know who drugged Grace?”

I froze, looking at her.

She smiled cruelly.

“They have the same name. Why does she deserve to live more than me?”

“She was born into the family, spoiled, but I was just the daughter of the housekeeper, beaten by my father!”

“I wasn’t going to let her have a better life. I had to destroy her!”

Each word was a hammer blow to my heart.

Rage consumed me. I lunged, grabbing her throat.

How could I not hate her?

She killed Grace, and ruined my life.

My eyes were bloodshot; I squeezed tighter.

But then, I was kicked away.

Ethan shielded Olivia, his eyes wary.

My eyes filled with tears.

“Ethan, you’re here. Grace was…”

Before I could finish, Olivia started crying.

“Ethan, Rachel’s gone mad! She says I killed your sister and wants to burn me!”

Ethan looked at the gasoline. His anger surged.

“Why? Why do you do this after I decided to forgive you?!”

“If I was a second late, would you hurt Olivia?!”

He grabbed the gasoline, drenching me.

“You want to give your life? Then die for Olivia!”

I felt his burning hatred. My eyes fell.

If nothing could be changed, then let it end.

After he left, I picked up a lighter, trembling as I lit my clothes.

In the flames, I closed my eyes peacefully.

After comforting Olivia, Ethan remembered me.

His anger subsided, he called me.

But there was no answer.

Thinking of my hopeless expression before he left, he felt a pang of anxiety.

His phone rang. He answered without looking.

His voice was scolding.

“I’m not playing games with you. If you don’t want to anger me, come here now!”

The butler’s sobbing voice answered:

“Mr. Hayes, it’s Mrs. Hayes… she set herself on fire in the temple!”

Ethan trembled, rushing to the window.

The flames reflected in his terrified eyes.