To seek forgiveness, he scattered my ashes at sea

Chapter 1

It was close to my due date when my husband’s “one true love,” Ashley, took a tumble down the stairs.

And wouldn’t you know it, she immediately claimed I pushed her.

To avenge his precious Ashley, my husband, Mark, not only refused to listen to my side of the story but also hauled me off to a bungee jumping tower.

“Ashley’s so kind and forgiving,” he said. “She says if you jump a hundred times, she’ll forgive you.”

I dropped to my knees, begging him to reconsider, to have some compassion for our unborn child.

He just sneered. “Don’t think you can get away with anything just because you’re pregnant. The world doesn’t revolve around you. This will teach you a lesson, stop making up stories and causing drama.”

So, I was dragged up to the top of that tower by a couple of burly guys and pushed off, again and again and again.

Three days later, Mark finally remembered me, still up on that bungee tower.

What he didn’t know was that I was already dead.

1.

“Sir, the missus is about to give birth. Isn’t making her do something this dangerous a little cruel?” Mr. Henderson, the housekeeper, said, clearly uncomfortable.

Mark scoffed. “Cruel? Was it cruel when she pushed Ashley down the stairs? Was it cruel when she caused Ashley to lose her baby?”

“I know Sarah. She acts like a spoiled princess. She’s always making a fuss over nothing.”

Hearing him say that made me so angry, I almost lost my ghostly composure.

Mr. Henderson, remembering my desperate pleas, tried again. “But sir, the missus is terrified of heights.”

“Enough,” Mark interrupted, waving a hand dismissively. “Mr. Henderson, I know you want to defend her, but actions have consequences.”

“I’m being lenient by only making her bungee jump a hundred times after what she did to Ashley.”

“Besides, she used to be a flight attendant. How can she be afraid of heights? Do your research before you make excuses for her.”

With that, Mark got up and left, and I was forced to follow him upstairs.

When he opened the door to our bedroom, a terrible suspicion formed in my mind.

And sure enough, there was Ashley, wearing my pajamas, smiling as she threw herself into Mark’s arms.

“Mark, darling, you’re finally here! I had a nightmare. I dreamt Sarah… she killed our baby.”

Mark’s face stiffened.

Ashley’s smile faltered, her voice catching. “Mark, our baby… is it still…?”

He held her close. “It’s okay, Ashley. When you’re better, we’ll have another baby.”

A sharp, stabbing pain ripped through my heart.

I lashed out, trying to slap him.

My hand passed right through his face. Of course.

Ashley, with tears in her eyes, said, “Mark, why is Sarah doing this to me? I just… I love you so much. I just wanted to have your baby, and then I would have left, just me and the baby.”

“Why is she so cruel? Does my baby not deserve to live just because it wasn’t born yet?”

Mark looked at her with such tenderness. “Don’t worry. We’ll have another baby. I’ve punished Sarah. I’m taking you somewhere nice for a couple of days, okay?”

“Really?” A flicker of joy crossed Ashley’s face, then she looked downcast again. “But will Sarah be upset? She already pushed me because she was jealous. I’m scared…”

“She wouldn’t dare!” Mark’s voice hardened. “Don’t you worry. She’s an orphan. She has no one but me. She won’t go anywhere.”

2.

That evening.

As Mark spoon-fed Ashley some porridge, he asked Mr. Henderson, “Has that bitch Sarah learned her lesson yet? Has she said anything about apologizing to Ashley?”

Mr. Henderson reported, “They haven’t heard anything, sir.”

Mark slammed the bowl down. “Hmph, typical. I spoiled her. She thinks she can get away with anything. Fine. Let her stay out there a little longer.”

“Maybe then she’ll realize where she truly belongs.”

Belongs?

I laughed bitterly. Five years of love, and it couldn’t withstand Ashley’s lies.

I hated myself for being so blind, for not seeing their affair sooner.

Ashley hid her discomfort, smiling sweetly as she soothed Mark.

“Mark, darling, don’t be angry. It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t come back, Sarah wouldn’t be mad at you.”

“But I couldn’t help myself. I was badly injured, and I had to go abroad for treatment.”

“I was so excited to come back to you, but then I found out you were married. I don’t want anything else, I just want to be near you, even if… even if it means being… nothing, I’d still be happy.”

She dabbed at imaginary tears.

I knew the truth. She had stolen my life, my identity.

I looked at Mark, wondering what his reaction would be if he knew I was the one who had saved his life, not her.

He pulled her close. “Don’t worry. When you’re recovered, we’ll have a big wedding.”

I froze, remembering how I had dreamt of a wedding with Mark, and he’d brushed me off, saying a courthouse wedding was enough, why bother with all the fuss.

He’d said, “Sarah, honey, weddings are just for show. True love is about introducing you to everyone I know.”

I gave a hollow laugh.

It wasn’t about true love or fuss. It was because it wasn’t Ashley.

Only Ashley deserved a grand wedding.

Mr. Henderson, frowning, stepped forward. “Sir, we haven’t heard from the missus in six hours. I’m worried something might have happened to her.”

Mark hesitated.

Ashley’s eyes flashed with malice, but her face remained innocent. “Mark, darling, is Sarah still angry with me? Should I go apologize? I don’t mind if she hurts me, even if she stabs me or throws hot oil on me, I just want to be with you.”

Mark frowned, displeased. “Sarah wouldn’t dare. She’s an orphan. She has nothing without me. How would she survive?”

I stood there, rigid.

This was the first time I truly saw Mark for who he was.

Three years ago, my parents had financial problems. I begged Mark to help, but he said it was too big a hole, even he couldn’t fix it.

Under immense pressure, my parents jumped from a thirty-six-story building.

I had been on my way to bring Mark lunch that day. I watched them die.

After that, I couldn’t handle anything involving heights. I even quit my job.

I remembered how Mark had taken time off work to be with me for almost three months.

How things change. How fickle the human heart can be.

I never imagined this was what Mark truly thought of me.

Mr. Henderson hesitated, then said again, “But sir, ever since her parents died three years ago, the missus hasn’t done any high-altitude activities. She even quit her job.”

“She has a phobia, sir. And she’s so close to her due date. I’m really worried something terrible has happened.”

Before Mark could respond, Ashley spoke, her voice dripping with fake concern. “Mr. Henderson, anyone who didn’t know better would think you had a special relationship with Sarah.”

3.

She emphasized the word “special.”

Mr. Henderson opened his mouth to argue, but Mark waved him off, his face etched with impatience. “Enough. I know Sarah. She just likes to throw tantrums.”

“If she’s not ready to apologize, let her be. She’ll come crawling back.”

“Mark, you’re a monster! I’m carrying your child! Five years, and you don’t have a shred of sympathy for me?!” I screamed, my voice thick with grief.

But he couldn’t hear me.

“But sir…” Mr. Henderson tried again, only to be cut off.

“Enough, Mr. Henderson. Sarah has nowhere else to go. She’ll come back.”

His words made me laugh. Where did he get the nerve to think that?

Being a flight attendant was a passion, not a necessity. I could find other work.

I only became a housewife because Mark wanted home-cooked meals every day.

Three days later.

Mark and Ashley were in his Rolls Royce, their hands all over each other. Ashley opened the glove compartment, a sly smile playing on her lips. “Mark, honey, we’re out of the peach-flavored ones.”

Mark, his eyes glazed over with lust, mumbled, “Call Sarah. Tell her to bring us some more.”

My mind went blank. Images flashed through my head.

Braving rain, snow, and scorching sun, just to deliver condoms to him.

His excuse every single time? “I lost a dare. You know it’s not appropriate for a man like me to buy those things, so my sweet Sarah has to do it.”

Ashley’s smile faltered.

Mark pulled out his phone and dialed my number. It went straight to voicemail.

“What the… She’s never not answered my calls.”

I smiled grimly. I used to have special ringtones for his every message, every call. I never wanted to miss a single thing from him.

Ashley looked uncomfortable. “Mark, darling, I… I want to have your baby again. Is that okay?”

She leaned in and kissed him.

Mark, still drunk, didn’t think twice about why I wasn’t answering.

I had seen this scene play out too many times in the past few days. Almost every day, they’d put on this disgusting show right in front of me.

I had gone from sobbing hysterically to screaming in rage, to now, just numbly watching them.

The temperature inside the car rose rapidly. Moans filled the air, the car rocking rhythmically.

Finally, it was over. Mark, his lust sated, carried a limp Ashley back to the mansion.

I followed, unable to leave.

I had tried to escape before, but an unseen force always pulled me back. I had given up fighting it.

In the study.

Mr. Henderson reported, “Sir, about the missus…”

Mark rubbed his temples. “Don’t mention her. That bitch dared to ignore my calls.”

I laughed coldly. “Mark, have you forgotten? You left me at the bungee tower!”

Mr. Henderson paused, then clarified, “Sir, didn’t you order them to keep her there? She hasn’t been allowed down, has she?”

“Did… Did I?” Mark’s hand stilled.

He muttered, “That’s why she’s not answering.”

4.

“Sir, I’m sure the missus has learned her lesson. Why don’t we bring her back?” Mr. Henderson urged. “She’s carrying your child, after all.”

“Hahaha… Mark, a child? You don’t deserve a child!” My voice was filled with sorrow.

Thinking about the baby, a sharp pain stabbed at my heart.

He never even got to open his eyes and see the world.

Mark frowned slightly. “You go pick her up tomorrow. Make her apologize to Ashley properly, and then this whole thing will be over.”

His words made me sick.

Even now, he wanted me to apologize.

Suddenly, I felt a strange sense of anticipation. I wanted to see his face when he learned I was dead.

He’d be happy, right?

No one to nag him anymore.

The next day, as Mark was feeding Ashley breakfast, Mr. Henderson rushed in, his face pale.

“Sir, it’s terrible! The missus… she’s not at the bungee tower.”

Mark put the bowl down heavily. “What?”

A triumphant glint flashed in Ashley’s eyes, but she said in a sweet voice, “Is Sarah still angry with me? Should I go apologize? Or should I let her push me again, let her get it out of her system?”

She pressed herself closer to Mark as she spoke.

I glared at them, disgusted. They were truly made for each other.

Mark frowned. “She’s gotten too comfortable. She thinks she can just run away.”

“Freeze all her cards. Let’s see how far she gets with no money and a baby on the way.”

I laughed.

Mark, I haven’t gone anywhere. I’m right here, beside you.

Too bad you can’t see me.

Mr. Henderson looked troubled. “Sir, the people there said… said the missus has already returned.”

“Returned? Where is she?” Mark’s eyes scanned the room, searching for me.

I was standing right in front of him.

He scoffed. “That bitch is playing games now, is she? Trying to pull a disappearing act?”

Ashley stroked his chest soothingly. “Mark, darling, don’t be angry. It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have come back and disturbed you both.”

“Maybe I should leave. Then Sarah might come back.”

She made no move to actually leave, clinging to him even tighter.

Watching them, so close, so intimate, I felt like a fool for giving him five years of my life.

I was filled with regret.

Mr. Henderson frowned. “Sir, if the missus hasn’t returned, there must be something wrong.”

“Wrong? She’s just having a tantrum. She’s living too comfortably as Mrs. Walker,” Mark said, his brow furrowed.

Just then, his phone rang.

He assumed it was me, answering with a sneer. “Decided to apologize, have you? A phone call isn’t sincere enough. Come back here and apologize to Ashley on your knees. And write a ten-thousand-word…”

He stopped abruptly. The voice on the other end was cold and official. “Is this Mr. Mark Walker?”

Realizing it wasn’t me, Mark glanced at the caller ID. It was the police.

He paused. “Yes, this is he.”

The voice on the other end spoke rapidly. “We found a headless female body near Southwest County. After DNA testing, we’ve identified her as your wife, Sarah Walker. We need you to come and identify the body.”